On friendly concerns and furniture conundrums

Being in a bit of a slump, it was a really nice feeling to have today be the last day of the week. I was tempted to call in sick and take the day off, but I figured that I'd feel better if I just went in and busted it out, working through everything feeling shitty right now. One of my older coworkers, Andrew, looked at me and went "Wow, you look practically suicidal. What's wrong?" And yeah, while that doesn't exactly help me cheer up, I was kinda moved by the fact that he wasn't just saying it to be a dick. Andrew has no filter and will just spew out whatever he thinks of, but I could tell that he was actually coming from a place of kindness and concern. He kept trying to talk to me in the breaks between lessons, not accepting my "You know, stuff," as a viable answer, but really trying to get at the problem. It felt a little invasive, since Andrew isn't really the type of character I would spontaneously go to if I had a problem, but the thought was there, and that actually did make a difference. It made me feel better, all things considered. I just didn't think that my inner crappiness was so visible. Gonna have to work on that.

On the universe being weird

Everything reminds me of moving. Seriously, it's like the entire universe is ganging up to keep constantly letting me know that D-day is slowly but surely closing in. Or will be, when I find out if I got the visa or not (which they emailed me about today. It would seem like I'm looking at another two to six weeks on that one). I recently started watching How I Met Your Mother after watching the finale with the Philosopher and his friends (and yeah, I do things backwards, I know), and you know what? In the episode I'm watching, the Canadian girl with commitment issues who dated Ted, the guy that apparently reminds everyone of the Philosopher, is moving to Tokyo for work. That might not seem all that pointed at me to you guys, but I can promise you people that if you were in the same situation you'd feel weird about it too.

On creepy kids and internal philosophical debates

I love ghost stories, especially in the fall and winter when it gets really dark and spooky out. Whenever the days start getting shorter, my interest in the macabre grows. Horror movies, documentaries on serial killers, ghost encounter stories... they're all great when you're huddled up in your duvet and the wind is howling outside of your window. Freaky shit in general makes me happy. I don't scare easily, so that feeling of apprehension that settles in your stomach when you've just read something that gives you chills is amazing. I spent a lot of time last night and tonight reading the reddit thread titled 'What is the most disturbing thing your kid has said when talking about their 'imaginary friend'?', and man, kids are scary motherfuckers.

On grades and time-wasting

Yesterday was one of those extremely shitty days where you do nothing at all. I was bored as absolute fuck, lying in bed all day thinking "I might as well be at work. At least then I'd have something to do". When I start daydreaming about work when I have time off, that means that I'm pretty seriously bored. There's only so many episodes of Breaking Bad you can watch in a row without life beginning to feel utterly pointless. I mean, it's a great show and all, but christ, there should be more to life than that.

On nervous new people and Adventure Time

Why is this not my hair? Stupid work dress codes.

Pony came over today with all her hair chopped off and a really cool purple colour. It looked pretty sweet, and I was instantly jealous that I couldn't dye my hair funky colours as well. I'm so sick of my hair, but since I'm letting it grow out I don't want to touch it. I kinda wanted to go by Pony's apartment, take her hair and glue it to my head though. I miss fun hair. Being an adult with adult hair is far less fun than people make it out to be.

On lazy Mondays and treading water

I'm embarrassed to admit that I still feel like I've been run over by a truck, even after having hardly left bed yesterday. Note to self, no more drinking. At least no more heavy drinking. Weekends are too short.

On watching Project Runway obsessively, S12E7

This week's episode actually featured an actual fashion challenge - a trip to Marie Claire's office and their shoe department. None of this 'glamping' or unconventional challenges bullshit either. The designers got to chose a shoe to be inspired by (after showing surprisingly poor knowledge of fashion history), and it was like being back to one of the older seasons of Project Runway - real fashion challenges based off, well, real fashion.

Boring.

 The internet seemed to be overflowing with love for Helen's look, but I can't say I was all that impressed. I mean, a simple princess-seamed little black dress with an arguably cool cape, it wasn't my thing at all. I really don't like the shoes either. What's the deal with pointed toes anyways? They make your feet look enormous. Pony figured that it probably had lots of well-sewed details that wouldn't show up on TV, and I can understand that. I'm just kinda underwhelmed, that's all.

On watching Project Runway obsessively, S12E6

"The wicked witch with the bad hair is gone, at least that's something," Pony said as we sat down to watch a long overdue episode of Project Runway. It was another episode filled with nausea-inducing product placement, but skipping past their whole 'glamping' (glamorous camping) trip thing was easy enough, so we actually kinda enjoyed the experience for once. Not much was really horribly bad, and it seems like some time away from the workroom refreshed the designers enough to get them to produce something with a bit of heart to it again.

Fuck yeah, drop-crotch pants.

Now this photographs kinda awkwardly, but both Pony and I loved it on the runway. I think we're both warming up to Alexandria a bit more in general - an introverted hardworking Swede with a cool design sense. They gave her the 'redemption'-cut in editing, as her team was terrible last week, but I don't think it was a reflection of her ability as a designer. It was awesome to see Ken's bitchy face when she was on the top and he was on the bottom though. "I don't want be sucked into this big toilet of drama," she said, and she managed wonderfully. The jacket is awesome and Pony and I are both huge fans of drop-crotch pants, so this was a sure win in our book even before it was pronounced on the runway.

On watching Project Runway obsessively, S12E5

We've said it before and we're saying it again. "We should stop watching this shit. There's just nothing there anymore. It just makes us unhappy. There's just no redeeming it anymore," and yet there we are, every week, like an abused spouse hoping that somehow, in some magical way, Project Runway will have changed back to the way it was in the beginning, when it'd surprise us with good fashion and romantically wine-and-dine us. Now it just wants to shove product placements down our throat. Hey, look, Lexus! Hey, look, they're drinking this specific brand of water! Hey, look, GoBank!

I'm sorry Project Runway, but we're just not into it anymore. On watching the preview for next week's show, Pony sighed and just said "Suck my dick", and I couldn't agree more. We're on for this last season, but then it's probably no more. There's just no fashion in it anymore. I just... *sigh* Man, I keep on making excuses for this show, but there just aren't any anymore.

So heads up for the third unconventional materials challenge in five weeks, although this week it was in teams. They could be inspired by their Lexus, but they didn't have to, so technically it was all just thrown in there for screen time. Vomit. Did they all run out of any kind of proper idea? Anywho, the results were pretty hideous, and the drama was just way too much.

This so didn't deserve all that praise.

On new friendships and a bad choice of shoes

I'm heading out in a bit to pick up Hemingway's friend from Hong Kong and entertaining him for the day. When Hemingway first pitched this idea to me, he did it rather geniously. "Hey, one of my best friends is coming to visit but I have to be at work, can you take care of him? He's gay, he used to be a model." Wait, how many times can I say yes to that without sounding like a total creep? I mean, who doesn't think that sounds like an absolute fantastic time?

I worry far more about what I wear when meeting my gay friends or going to gay bars than I do when meeting anyone else, even more so when it's someone explicitly interested in fashion. I now feel that I should've done laundry earlier this week with some urgency, because I'm going through that awful "Ugh, I have nothing to wear" moment. Also, I've lost weight and my black and grey jeans no longer fit without looking way too big, and the only other pants I have are bright blue and eye-straining pink. Maybe I should just go really 60's preppy, I don't know. I'll have to figure something out.

On watching Project Runway obsessively, S12E4

Man, these last few days have been intense. I'm really looking forward to heading over to Hemingway's place to chill and be crampy with some chocolate and bubble tea. I've been spectacularly slow all day, mostly just hanging out on Skype for hours on end, lazily checking more or less interesting tumblrs. I like having a whole day to feel a little bit sorry for myself, and the best way to go about it is covered in blankets, watching Project Runway.

Pony and I greeted this episode with a "Yay, no more Timothy!" and all was good. The challenge of being inspired by bow ties given out by Jesse Tyler (whom neither of us knew who the hell he was), and it all seemed like a straight-forward enough challenge. There wasn't much that could prepare us for the massive amounts of drama though. Geez, that was rough.

So congrats to Bradon, who adorably proposed to his boyfriend after receiving his win. I don't think this look should've won, personally (even though I think it's kinda cute), but it was pretty appropriate. I mean, it's sad that people in this day and age don't have the same equality in what's often claimed to be 'the land of freedom'. Only giving freedom to those who conform to the norm doesn't sound very free to me. Anywho, I wouldn't have spaced the ties so far apart in the top, even if the fagoting excuse was pretty witty, but all in all a good look.

On watching Project Runway obsessively, S12E3

Going through my thesis project today to get it registered, I was struck by how much of an air of panic surrounded it. The written parts almost spell out "oh shit, oh shit, oh shit" and I feel a little stressed just reading them. I haven't been able to handle this is a normally-functioning human being in so long, and looking back now I understand how much of a terrible dark well of absolute despair I was by the time this project was finished, and how terrified I was of the prospect of showing it. I kinda want to go back and give myself a hug those last few days. I was probably just a tiny step away from a complete meltdown. I mean, I knew I was freaking out bad, but it's not until now when I've had the mental strength to check out my work that I really understand how bad. Now that everything's registered I feel much calmer, like I've pretty much closed the chapter on this extremely messy spring. Fuck yeah, this calls for some sick beats and a whole lot of high-fiving myself.



Anyways, I know I literally just did last week's episode of Project Runway the day yesterday, but I haven't been able to do this shit without Pony around. We always watch it together, watching it on my own to then comment on it just feels wrong, so we pulled a two episode marathon yesterday. Does two count as a marathon? When does binge-watching turn bad? Also, today's the day Hemingway's coming home, and I'll probably not have much time or opportunity to write anything more in-depth later tonight, so you'll all just have to make do. It'll be worth it though, promise.

On kitty farewells and shrieks

Lazy kitty bed cuddles.

Today was Tara the cat's last day at my place before going back to her own apartment with her owner. It's been both a little rough to have her around as she's a wee bit demanding sometimes, but mostly she's been really sweet. Last night as I was getting ready for bed and was feeling a little lonely, she lay down on my chest and purred me in the face. It's comforting, it really is. As much as I favour dogs, I have a feeling I'm going to miss the little fucker when she's gone. Cleaning up her stuff and getting ready to move - it just feels kinda sad.

On watching Project Runway obsessively, S12E2

Saturday morning, and everyone in the apartment is up on their own at like 7.30 am. What's up with that? Felt surprisingly good though, like I'm full of all this energy I don't know where it came from. A full night's sleep maybe. I should get to bed before midnight more often.

Anywho, I'm doing a review of last week's Project Runway this week, because it's just impossible for it not to be depressing if Pony's not around. Yesterday morning she came back though, and I'm psyched about it. We celebrated today with Project Runway and dancing around in the living room to k-pop. Why change a winning concept? Anywho, moving on.

Bed sheets are fabulous.

On k-pop drinking games part 2 – The aftermath

Yesterday's experimental drinking game worked out pretty well, all things considering. We played for around 45 minutes, got pleasantly buzzed and giggly, and were then distracted by the cat being fluffy and us being hungry, so we ended it there and watched some Community instead. I woke up a bit groggy but not really hungover, and with the knowledge that vodka strawberry milkshakes are like the best thing ever. It was a good test run, even when we occasionally got too distracted by the clothes and cool dancing to remember to drink, but I guess that's what I get for playing with someone equally fascinated by fashion. Also laughing at all the amazingly corny stuff that goes on in these videos takes up a lot of time while playing. It's awesome. Here's looking to round two.

On naive people and thunderstorms

Oh god, I've found the Holy Grail of depressing television - Catfish: The TV show. Desperate people falling for people they've never even skyped with, let alone met, and then having their expectations totally obliterated by this film crew who investigate the online crush and and then arrange a meeting. So. Much. Awkward. The people being fooled are so amazingly naive, they'll make excuses for anything. "Well never mind he sounds like he's 14 over the phone, I know he's the gorgeous model doctor he says he is online!"

 I mean, I've been told I'm a bit of a cynic, but I'd approach anything like this with a (maybe less than) healthy dose of skepticism. I feel a little bad for these people who just want their relationship to be true so much that they're completely oblivious to everything that sounds weird or odd. How desperate for love are they?

On watching Project Runway obsessively, S12E1

It's only been like 2½ months, and I know I said I'd be angrily refusing to watch it, but like a beaten spouse I'm back again. Project Runway, you may be terribly gimmicky and stuff, but I've gotta hand it to you - you know your target audience will never abandon you. Although to Project Runway's defense, I've gotta say that the changes implemented don't seem half-bad. Having the judges actually be able to look at the clothes up close, as well as Tim Gunn sticking around during judging is pretty neat. O had come over to hang out for a bit, and we roped him into watching too, which ended up being really nice.

Anywho, they started off with a relatively conventional unconventional challenge, making something out of the fabrics from parachutes, and while that's fine in and of itself, it's always boring when there's real fabric involved in the unconventional rather than proper unconventional things. That being said, people did make some pretty neat stuff, but there were also several "the fuck?" moments, and plenty of people I just wanted to punch in the face. There are also no cute Asians in this season, so that's a bit disappointing, but I'll try to live with it. Zac Posen is still there, to Pony's great joy ("He looks like such a well-dressed and handsome dandy until he opens his mouth in that cooky smile with all those crooked teeth and it's just so cute!"), and he seems to have decided to really take an active part in critiques and not just be nice like he was the entire first half of last season, so that's always cool. I kinda like him, he seems rational as opposed to pretty much every other judge up there (apart from Tim Gunn of course. Tim Gunn can do no wrong).

On crime and crime solving

Sorry for the lack of updating yesterday, I took a spontaneous last-minute trip to my parents' house to get spoiled rotten and fed proper food. It's been a restful couple of days, even though I'm constantly freezing at their place, rain or shine. I can't say I've done much, apart from hanging out in their garden and thought of life-altering decisions, such as how I'll cut my hair the next time I go to the hairdressers. It's a hard-knock life.

The one thing I don't really get, is how my parents don't really get Sherlock. I mean, how can you not like Sherlock? Or the Benedict Cumberbatch version of Sherlock? He's just awesome, seriously awesome.

Who needs to understand when he's wearing that shirt?

 Before going, I noticed that my mom's lack of emoticons in her messages make me think she's pissed off at me constantly. It feels ridiculous. When did we lose the ability to identify feelings without emoji?

ヾ(。￣□￣)ﾂ

On killing wedding guests and checking out apartments

Third nightmare about school in as many nights. Maybe this means that I'm finally letting go of some of that tension.

After another stop at the Asian super market, Hemingway and I went to meet up with a friend of his to check out the apartment that Hemingway will be staying at.

Because these places are magical and I need to try everything at least once. Not jellyfish though, they're scary.

Pony and G even cleared out another shelf for us in the fridge, since "You actually like... eat now, and have groceries home, so you need the space." Not that I didn't eat before or anything, but food isn't a huge priority in my life. I can eat the same thing over and over without getting bored, and I generally eat pretty fast because life has a lot more to offer than that. Also, cooking for one person is boring.

On brain scans and clan mentality

The very cute and rather stiff doctor from the sleep deprivation study contacted me today to ask if I wanted a picture of my brain, by sending me an email (subject line was "Picture of brain?") going: "Hi, we really appreciate you taking part in our MRI experiment. Would you like a pdf with a cross section of your brain?". The nerd in me riots with happiness. Obviously I should've answered his email with a subject line of "Picture of brain!", but I was too eager to get my hands on, well, my head to think of it before hitting the send button. I mean, who wouldn't want a picture of their brain? It's so creepy-cool.