On life as short stories

Good evening, Silent Readers! Bet you thought I wasn't going to stay true to my word and tell you about what's been going on? Well think again bitches. It's kinda late and I'm all wrapped up ready for bed, so they're going to be fairly short anecdotes without much coherence. Think of it as my life in short stories, or like me hastily going through a photo album while we're waiting for dinner to finish cooking on the stove.

On friends in wells

Max called me at 5.30 a.m. in the fits of a panic attack, telling me things about how he couldn't breathe and was going to die, how I wasn't allowed to say his name because it made me sound like his girlfriend, how he had a crush on me when my hair was blue, how he would build a huge home in the future with space for all of us who like Totoro and Haruki Murakami, how he needed to tell Knives Chau how badly she had hurt him when they had a fling two years ago, and just generally spewing out so many strange things as to actually make me really nervous for him ("I want to dance when I see you next. Do you want to dance with me? We should dance."). We breathed through it and he calmed down once he started describing in detail the dinner he would cook for O and I when next we see him, but was still far from coherent when he hung up fifteen minutes later to call O.

On Monday madness

Despite it being Monday and probably not as busy as I imagined it was, I felt totally overwhelmed at work. I suddenly remembered that I needed desperately to score Wednesday off so that I can go to the Margaret Cho gig with O and some other friends, and I was freaking out because of who to ask to fill my shift. For no apparent reason I'd made up my mind that the Swedish sisters that work most weekends probably hate me and wouldn't take my shift even if I asked them. I felt terrible for not having spoken to T in a few days, since he's probably equally nervous about coming here on Friday, and I was coming down hard on myself for not being able to meet T at the airport like I promised, since he lands at 7.30 p.m. and chances are I'll probably have to stay until 8 p.m. at work to help Mafune out (whom I was also sure hated me since she let me off an hour early on Friday and took a whole bunch of my shifts for when T's here. Yeah, reading that back it doesn't make any sense to me either). T coming over at all kinda freaks me out, as we haven't seen each other in a year and a half. Lots of people came in to eat at the same time, and I constantly felt a little behind in everything I did. Mafune was there with Karate Son, giving tips and feedback on a video project he'd made, making my brain snap and finally go over the deep end. "Oh my god, I'll never be as cool as Mafune, she's like his big sister and here I am as some loner weeaboo that they sometimes talk to out of pity and oh-my-god-I-feel-like-I'm-going-to-throw-up-why-the-hell-am-I-going-to-Japan-I'll-be-so-alone-help!"

Accurate representation of my brain at the time.

On money grabbing and time management

I got tipped by two Korean guys today, and that was even after I'd mistakenly given them warm sake instead of cold (although to be fair, I did make it on the house) and had to apologize to them for being out of the beer they wanted. The more silent of the two pulled out a twenty, put it on the little saucer we use to present bills, and went "This is for you". Is there a dignified way to take money like that? Because I always feel like it looks like I'm scrambling a little too quickly and grabbing wildly at the money when it shows up. It's probably nothing anyone has ever noticed, but striking that balance that makes you look poised yet grateful, instead of poor and/or greedy is one of those things I probably spend way too much time thinking about.

On art and dreams of slouchiness

Today was the fall exhibition at Edsviks Konsthall, a gallery not too far from where I live. What's so special about that? Well, G had one of his sculptures featured, and it was beautiful. What's even more impressive is how many other beautiful works were featured, and how good the general quality of the exhibition was. I walked around going 'ooh' at a lot of things, and if I had 100 000 SEK just hanging around somewhere, I'd buy me some art. I feel really lucky to get to live around art all the time, with G's sculptures everywhere in the apartment, and I forget that not everyone has an amazing gallery in their living room at times. It really makes me happy to see G get recognized for his work though, and I hope there will be many more gallery visits to come. He works so hard, and he's so talented (as you can see here), and I was just so glad to see it pay off in how happy he was at the gallery. Anywho, it was a pleasant way to spend part of the afternoon. If you're in the area, I recommend it.

On school, shelter and sushi

Yesterday's night out with Sand and Co. was a lot of fun. We had some dinner, hung out at an outdoor party and had a pretty cool time. It was architecture related, and even though I was a little nervous before going, I ended up having a lot of fun with my friends and I wasn't all that freaked out about the architecture bit either. I was thinking about it when passing my school with Yanyan one of his last days - I wasn't nearly as stressed out as I'd been before. I guess things are starting to come together for me.

Hemingway's leaving for a bachelor party weekend trip to Budapest today, and I don't think he got so much sleep last night as we came home around midnight, and Sand later called me at 4.30 looking for a place to sleep after having scary memory gaps. About 15 minutes later the Puppy called with a similar problem, having had a serious nosebleed and being chilled and freaking out. They joked this morning that this place is a bit like an animal sanctuary for strays, and while I'm happy to give my friends some couch space when they're in need, I'd rather they not call me about it at 4 a.m. when Hemingway has to get up around 6. I mean, I'm not happy to be woken at any time really.

On new friendships and a bad choice of shoes

I'm heading out in a bit to pick up Hemingway's friend from Hong Kong and entertaining him for the day. When Hemingway first pitched this idea to me, he did it rather geniously. "Hey, one of my best friends is coming to visit but I have to be at work, can you take care of him? He's gay, he used to be a model." Wait, how many times can I say yes to that without sounding like a total creep? I mean, who doesn't think that sounds like an absolute fantastic time?

I worry far more about what I wear when meeting my gay friends or going to gay bars than I do when meeting anyone else, even more so when it's someone explicitly interested in fashion. I now feel that I should've done laundry earlier this week with some urgency, because I'm going through that awful "Ugh, I have nothing to wear" moment. Also, I've lost weight and my black and grey jeans no longer fit without looking way too big, and the only other pants I have are bright blue and eye-straining pink. Maybe I should just go really 60's preppy, I don't know. I'll have to figure something out.

On colds and Margaret Cho

Hemingway's been starting to cook me breakfast when he gets up to go to work, which I find really sweet. I've been in the habit of not really liking to eat breakfast, but when it's there and it's been prepared so sweetly I can't not eat it. Pony and I have made jokes about him being a feeder, but it's really just nice to have someone worry about you getting your daily nutrients and stuff.

As nice as he is though, he's given me his cold from Indonesia and I have the worst sore throat. Hmpf. Also, today it's rained like hell and I got soaked through while walking home from the subway, and now I'm hiding out at home wrapped up in a big comforter trying to keep warm, hiding from the horrible weird bark-like substance that tastes like toothpaste that he keeps trying to feed me. What is that? And more importantly, whyyyyy?

On good hanging out and bad hanging out

Longboarding with O didn't work out quite as I hoped it would. When I went to his place there was a light drizzle, and we decided to have some tea and chocolate to wait it out. The weather promptly decided to go "Pssh, as if" and start pouring rain by the buckets. We decided to give up on longboarding for the day and instead sat in the kitchen, talking about stuff in general and our plans for the rest of the year. O jokingly said he'd need to find new best friends, since "Two of my best friends are leaving the country this fall. What the hell am I supposed to do now?" and it's suddenly that wonderful moment of absolute happiness when one of those really cool and awesome people you consider one of your best friend lets you know he considers you one of his best friends too.

Best friends, yay!

On presents and strange mothers

Hemingway's back from his Hong Kong trip, with a suitcase packed full of awesome stuff. I just love the Asian cute obsession, they do it so much better. Rilakkuma, for example. I bought myself a Rilakkuma lunchbox in the Osaka Rilakkuma store when I was there, and was just blown away by the amount of cute that was in there. Rilakkuma towels. Rilakkuma carpets. Rilakkuma vacuum cleaners. It was cute heaven. Hemingway bought me an adorable Rilakkuma backpack and a Rilakkuma apron, so now I can go around being adorable too.

Also a Junsu album, because... because Junsu.

 

Yup, dyed my hair too. Was getting sick of the whole bleaching process. Now I just need to get it cut. Hemingway's staunchly opposed of it getting shorter, but fuck it, long hair is for wimps.

Hemingway being back is nice, but it means he's back with jet-lag and a messed up sleeping pattern which in turn affects me too. One example being of waking me up at 6 am to happily drag me out of bed for a bath. "You can sleep in the tub!" which, to be fair, I did until the water got uncomfortably cold, when I shuffled back to bed in a zombie-like state. It was nice, but I'm so not a morning person the way Hemingway is. It's just not my thing.

On awkward parties and overly attached cats

The get-together at Sand's place last night was fun, albeit weird. I felt like showing up with the good thing to do, as it made Sand really happy, and also Knives Chau was there. I haven't seen her since school ended, but she's been kinda in the same state as I have, so I don't think any of us have really had the energy or willpower to do that much at all. It was so nice seeing her though, I'd really missed her. O and his boyfriend showed up for a bit, but left pretty quick, probably because O's gastritis was acting up again. Then Knives and her boyfriend disappeared out on the balcony to have a serious talk for at least an hour, which made everyone feel really weird. We all know Knives' boyfriend, he went to school with us too, so why he'd have such a hard time just being a nice guy for a few hours and not bring personal problems out into the open I don't know. None of them seemed too happy after their talk, and I felt kinda sorry for Sand who had wanted to go out. Things just fell kinda flat.

On gender representation and photography

When I went to my brother's place, I spent the first few hours hanging out at the beach with him and his family, along with another family who were the parents of my niece's friend from daycare. Now the kid and the dad were nice enough, but the mom, oh god. The amount of sexism that came from that woman's mouth was just amazing. "He's climbing so much! He's such a typical boy." (and just regular stupidity too. "Yeah, good luck getting him to listen, he's a Capricorn." No, you're a shitty parent.) Hanging around with my brother and his wife, who naturally raise their girl as a child, rather than a stereotypical gender representation. Even when she was an infant and people would ask "What is it?" (as in "Is it a boy or a girl?") they'd typically answer "It's a human child", which I've gotta say is the best way of dealing with stuff like that that I know of. Anyway, I was sitting there at the beach trying really hard to not let my jaw drop at some of the things this mom would say, and not opening my mouth for fear that rude things might come out of it. I really can't stand when people don't think about the example they're setting through attitude though. It upsets me.

On teen-like adults and dodging friends

 
I feel weird about adults who over-share their relationships on facebook. It's one thing if you're a teen - teens are pretty much required to be obnoxious, but if you're in your 40s and you're still going on every single day about how much you love your husband or how happy you are, I'm beginning to think you're overcompensating. Not everyone wants to see your cutesy messages to each other or hear the stories about how you fell madly in love. I don't want to have to go through the trouble of blocking you, setting the news feed settings to 'Only Important' should allow me to escape the sickening lovey-dovey crap, so stop updating about it five times a day. You post too much.

While on the subject of stuff that pisses me off - WordPad. TEFL insists on sending their shit in that format, and it doesn't autosave, so there's no way to restore it when my relic-of-a-computer overheats and shuts down. I just lost a whole bunch of work that I'd done yesterday and today over that. I mean, even OpenOffice stuff can recover documents, and that stuff's free. Yes, I should know from school that there's no better thing in the world than saving your work every now and again, but it's human to forget. This just happens a bit too often to not get really fucking raging about it. Fuck. Anyways, I guess there's not much to do about it other than start over, but that's not going to stop me from whining and complaining for a bit.

On watching Project Runway obsessively, S12E1

It's only been like 2½ months, and I know I said I'd be angrily refusing to watch it, but like a beaten spouse I'm back again. Project Runway, you may be terribly gimmicky and stuff, but I've gotta hand it to you - you know your target audience will never abandon you. Although to Project Runway's defense, I've gotta say that the changes implemented don't seem half-bad. Having the judges actually be able to look at the clothes up close, as well as Tim Gunn sticking around during judging is pretty neat. O had come over to hang out for a bit, and we roped him into watching too, which ended up being really nice.

Anywho, they started off with a relatively conventional unconventional challenge, making something out of the fabrics from parachutes, and while that's fine in and of itself, it's always boring when there's real fabric involved in the unconventional rather than proper unconventional things. That being said, people did make some pretty neat stuff, but there were also several "the fuck?" moments, and plenty of people I just wanted to punch in the face. There are also no cute Asians in this season, so that's a bit disappointing, but I'll try to live with it. Zac Posen is still there, to Pony's great joy ("He looks like such a well-dressed and handsome dandy until he opens his mouth in that cooky smile with all those crooked teeth and it's just so cute!"), and he seems to have decided to really take an active part in critiques and not just be nice like he was the entire first half of last season, so that's always cool. I kinda like him, he seems rational as opposed to pretty much every other judge up there (apart from Tim Gunn of course. Tim Gunn can do no wrong).

On staying in and buddying up

O called me today to ask if I had anything planned and wanted to hang out. Initially I was skeptical about picking up the phone, because I've been avoiding people from school for a while, due to being sick of everything that has anything to do with school. Then I decided that I don't want to isolate myself from O, no matter how much I don't feel like hanging out with anyone, so we decided he'd come over and watch a movie.

On photos and food

Hemingway and I went by a photography student friend of mine's graduation ceremony, where they had an exhibition featuring everyone in her class. O and his brother were there as well, and as always we decided to geek out on architectural photography, but there were quite a lot of really nice art out there. I didn't get nearly as much as I'd wanted to on camera, due to the fact that I felt that it looked a little tacky to go around an exhibition with your phone camera ready, but ah well. My friend did good, and so did a lot of her friends too. It's sad that artists like painters or photographers seldom get the creative freedom I wish they had. Who knows what they could dream up if they did? Then again, we live in a material world, and I guess we all have to adjust to that.

On runway mishaps and burrito bonanzas

That awkward moment when you dream you're walking in a fashion show for Diane von Fürstenberg and there's no backstage crew, so when you're struggling to dress yourself for your second look you first accidentally put on the wrong dress and then end up not having time to walk the runway at all. On top of all of this, the runway is ended with a critique much like the ones we have in school, in which the David Icke-lookalike who critiqued my architecture presentation asks why I didn't show the final look, and I go "I uhm... I did, you must not have been paying attention." You're not fooling anyone, dream self.

Shit man, modeling 's hard.

On watching Project Runway obsessively, S11E13

Ohh you guys, I had such a shit day today. I mean, technically it could've been a lot worse, but I was just tired and whiny and nothing really seemed to work out. Sat around with a friend of mine talking about how we feel totally fucked over by the school, as it's probably the worst run institution in probably the entire country, and then just stuff. So much stuff. I haven't done nearly enough on my construction assignment that needs to be in Wednesday, because I'm a lazy asshole. I just can't get around to doing it unless it's totally last minute. Guess that's what happens when you're three weeks from graduation - you kinda just die a little inside when it comes to any and all forms of work.

Had my thesis opposition today, which went pretty well considering the amount of time I put into writing my thesis (i.e. not nearly enough), but there were some good conversations to be had about it. The thesis presentation before mine was kinda on the same subject, only written by a girl who had no idea what the hell she was talking about, so I was probably looking really annoyed and impatient, because O scribbled "BREATHE" on his notes for me. I don't want to be a bitchy know-it-all about Japan and Japanese architecture, but I know probably more than most who wrote about it, not to mention things like pronunciation. "It's not Saitama, it's Saitama, you illiterate asshole" my brain wants to yell at these people (O being the only person polite enough to actually check that he was pronouncing things correctly). But hell, it's not their language, they don't know it, so I can't complain about it. What I can complain about on the other hand is when they mix up Kurokawa and Kurosawa. I doubt famous Japanese directors ever did any kind of architecture that wasn't directly related to a movie set.

"Hey you guys, look at that house I didn t draw."

Anywho, I took a walk with the Puppy and had ice cream, then went home and had a really nice run, so I'll stop being bitchy now and move on to this week's Project Runway.

On new bands and new happiness

Yesterday was a good day, just as predicted. New experiences and new bands have left me with one of those calm yet buzzing feelings in my chest of being content with what life's just thrown my way.