On hormones and hopes

So this week is shaping up to be the longest drumroll of my life. Two weeks ago, the boss's wife said they'd want to talk to me about my situation this week, but so far, no one has made any effort to have any kind of conversation with me. It's enormously stressful. I try to tell myself that no news is good news, and that at least they're not kicking me out, but combining this work-related anxiety with being all hormonal and period-y, I feel kinda miserable. I'm kinda doubting everything, including Turtle's real affection, because when things feel shitty, all of my logic goes straight out the window.


I have absolutely no reason to doubt Turtle, especially after Sunday evening, when he called me up when I was out to karaoke with some coworkers specifically to sing me his Engrish rendition of The Little Mermaid's Under The Sea. Birdie summarized it best, with: "Turtle is so fucking adorable. If you don't marry that man, I'm going to punch you in the face."

It's just times like this when I get super needy. I want all the hugs, and my insides feel like they're made out of lead ("Why hasn't he texted me in two hours? He doesn't love me anymore."). That, and then I get angry and defiant ("Fuck him, I don't need his fucking face"), and then I go back to being sad and miserable again ("Turtle, waaaaaah!" (T^T)). Man, sometimes I really wish I was born a boy. Periods always throw me off my game something crazy. I'm just trying really hard to keep my crazy under wraps and not freaking him out all too much.