On grades and time-wasting

Yesterday was one of those extremely shitty days where you do nothing at all. I was bored as absolute fuck, lying in bed all day thinking "I might as well be at work. At least then I'd have something to do". When I start daydreaming about work when I have time off, that means that I'm pretty seriously bored. There's only so many episodes of Breaking Bad you can watch in a row without life beginning to feel utterly pointless. I mean, it's a great show and all, but christ, there should be more to life than that.

I heard back from the TEFL people today when they sent me my diploma, which I scored an nice big shiny A on.

I'm pretty damn stoked about it, at the same time as it makes me a little sad and disappointed in myself, because it shows what I can do (without all too much effort) when I just apply myself a little. I've been thinking of taking up my architecture studies again within the not-too-distant future, and my mediocre C feels a little weak in comparison. At the time of hand-in in May, I was deathly tired and very unhappy, so all things considered it was still a pretty good grade for me (and just as good as many of my other friends' grades), but I'm not sure how it'll rank against other prospective exchange students should I choose to go down the route of doing my Masters degree abroad. It makes me nervous. A lot of it is determined by portfolio of course, but I'm not entirely sure my portfolio ranks to where it needs to be either. I need to rework some stuff, as well as do some new projects, but it's something I'm actually beginning to look forward to. Six months after school's D-day, I'm regaining my interest and passion for architecture, and it makes me feel like if I haven't gotten out of the deep well of shit I found myself in at the end of term, at least I'm beginning to be able to reach the rim and see daylight out there. If 2013 was the year of background grunt-work and getting shit done, 2014 will be the year of fine-tuning and cashing in. Who knows what 2015 will be after that? Hopefully even better, is all I can say.

I feel good today. Last week I was sick of work and really didn't want to do anything, and today I'm feeling rested and rather good to go. After yesterday's stint with complete and utter boredom, anything feels better, including fake smiles and meaningless pleasantries. At least I get money for being ridiculously pleasant, that's always something. Things are going to be okay. At least I can take comfort in that.