On watching Project Runway obsessively, S12E5

We've said it before and we're saying it again. "We should stop watching this shit. There's just nothing there anymore. It just makes us unhappy. There's just no redeeming it anymore," and yet there we are, every week, like an abused spouse hoping that somehow, in some magical way, Project Runway will have changed back to the way it was in the beginning, when it'd surprise us with good fashion and romantically wine-and-dine us. Now it just wants to shove product placements down our throat. Hey, look, Lexus! Hey, look, they're drinking this specific brand of water! Hey, look, GoBank!

I'm sorry Project Runway, but we're just not into it anymore. On watching the preview for next week's show, Pony sighed and just said "Suck my dick", and I couldn't agree more. We're on for this last season, but then it's probably no more. There's just no fashion in it anymore. I just... *sigh* Man, I keep on making excuses for this show, but there just aren't any anymore.

So heads up for the third unconventional materials challenge in five weeks, although this week it was in teams. They could be inspired by their Lexus, but they didn't have to, so technically it was all just thrown in there for screen time. Vomit. Did they all run out of any kind of proper idea? Anywho, the results were pretty hideous, and the drama was just way too much.

This so didn't deserve all that praise.

I don't know why they went and did it, but apparently it was the completely bland and boring team that got the win this week, and Jeremy apparently won the judges favour with this boring, ill-fitting garment that the judges nearly wet themselves over. "It makes her look so shapely!" they cooed, while completely ignoring the fact that the bust was the actual problems. I've seen this time and time again, Project Runway designers can't make dresses with cups for shit. They always look terrible. There are never any redeeming qualities. These cups are too small and wonky, and the glitter line on the side of the dress looks totally crafty.

Eww. Just eww.

When the team started talking about The Great Gatsby, I just kinda lost it. Karen produced this, and I felt like slamming my head against the wall when all the judges were talking about how chic it was. Uhm, this is one of the worst 20's silhouettes I've ever seen. It just makes her look horribly boxy. It's ill-fitting, ill-conceived and a total mess. Ew.

Sci-fi eww.

The circle jerk the judges have got going on with Kate just has to stop. It's sickening. This is really bad, and yet they kept on praising her for being more 'edgy' than usual, something they've all totally made up in their heads. Kate's not bad, and I didn't much mind her last season, but this goodie two shoes edit she's getting this season just makes me want to vomit. The dress is the best of the three, but it's still bad.

This outshone everything on that runway by far.

 It's nigh-on criminal how Bradon was robbed of his victory. I'm not big on the shoulder strap, but everything else about the dress was amazing. I love the flow of the skirt. He's a contender for sure, one of the few this season.

Mm, it's OK.

Well colour me surprised, Miranda made something that wasn't a pencil skirt and a crop top. The fit's wonky but the idea is perfectly passable.

Oh girl.

 Alexander's scarf is good. The rest is insane.

Why is she bleeding from her armpit?

 Helen's wasn't bad, all things considered. She worked with the paper medium in a pretty interesting way, and the shape turned out to be kinda cool. I'm not hating on this. Actually, I probably like it the best out of everything their team did.

Origami again?

I'll just straight-up say that I hated the pattern they chose, and the colour scheme, and mostly everything about it. The goji berry belt was alright, but the dress looks lopsided. I like Dom, I want her to do well, but this wasn't all that impressive to me.

...and she looks fat.

 Justin's paper pants weren't as bad as they were looking in the workroom, but once again I have to wonder at people who enter a design competition not having done pants in six years. Don't they know they might have to make some during the course of the competition? How are they not aware of that? And there's no excuse for that top.

Ugh, that top.

 I felt really bad for Alexandria, being on a team with Ken and Sue. It wasn't even button bag bad luck, it was pure drama for the cameras, courtesy of the producers, and it was horrible. This ended up being the best of the three, but Pony and I both felt sorry for her having to stand up on the runway with team members acting like they're straight outta daycare. The skirt is OK, the shirt is insane.

That hair is just... no.

I wonder if over-bearing Ken dictated everything about these spacey looks. The hair and makeup too? Because that hair is cray-cray. There are no two ways about it. I thought his idea had some potential in the beginning, but what happened after was just gross, and his attitude was completely horrendous.

I just felt sorry for that model.

Am I happy to see Sue out of the competition or what. Her passive aggressive bullshit whining just never seemed to end. Ken was a bitch, and neither Pony nor I would've minded a double elimination this week, but I have no idea how someone with a total inability to sew or create patterns could ever make it onto Project Runway. How low has this show gone? And using fabric in an unconventional materials challenge? And having Tim Gunn flip out on you in the workroom? And to have your model sew herself into the garment?! Shame on you, Sue.