On job search frustration

I'm having one of those backlash days, probably because of way too little time on my own, but also just because it's already August 20th, I'm broke, still don't have a job and I'm quite frankly ashamed of it. I never thought it would be this much of an issue, and the way everyone's up in my business asking me about it. "So what are your plans for the fall?" "Is it hard to find a job in Stockholm these days?" Apparently so, genious, seeing as I haven't got one. Mom called the other day and dropped the classic "But honey, you need to find a job!" No, really mom, do I? And just what the fuck do you think I've been trying to do lately?

Although I probably haven't been trying as hard as I should've, as I freaked out when I looked at the date in today's paper. Where's my life disappearing off to? Why haven't I gotten further in the TEFL? Why am I not working harder towards getting where I want to be? It's depressing to think about, so I'm just going to have to try to get my act together without putting myself down too much, as that won't help anyone. I've had so much fun hanging out with Hemingway's friend that I've completely blanked everything else, and there's only so much of that I can do before panic strikes.

Having had all this new-found energy to see people and do things has been great, and I feel far more alive than I did during the last term in Architecture school, but it's been distracting me from doing what I should be doing. I'm beginning to get stressed, and with it, unhappy again. Then again, I guess the only thing to do is man up and get the job done, apply for a million positions I don't really want and just hope for at least an interview. It'll get sorted out. It has to get sorted out.