On crappy evenings and dead phones

I'm so pissed off right now, you guys have no idea. Hemingway and his friend wanted to go out, and since I'd forgotten my ID, I went home to pick it up and then get back to them. Anyways, my phone dies on the way, but before then I'd sent a text telling them I was coming, so I thought I'd go hang out by the front door, that eventually they'd notice that it wouldn't take that long, or find it strange that I wasn't answering calls or texts, and maybe come check the door to see if my phone had died or something.

Yeah, that would've been great, but that didn't fucking happen. I sat outside the front door like some sort of fabulously dressed hobo, waiting for probably an hour or so, until it got way too cold and I said 'fuck it' and went home, fuming.

Is it too much to ask? I mean, I can only think that if something similar happened to a friend who was going to come visit, I'd start checking the door every ten minutes or so after a certain interval, not just keep sending texts without replies and just figure that everything's fine. Shit. And I'm not really pissed at Hemingway's friend as much as I am at Hemingway for some reason. I guess it's not so much the friend's responsibility. But all I really got was a half-assed "aww, I'm sorry" as well, and while I don't know what I'd want to make up for it anyway, that just doesn't feel like it's cutting it. I tend to feel entitled when I'm angry, like the world owes me something, or at least the person I feel has wronged me (even though it was totally not by intent either).

I'm most likely being kinda unfair in saying that I might not want to hang out tomorrow because I'm pissed at Hemingway. Maybe it's not cool to blame so much, but I can't help but think that if someone would've just given a crap, I wouldn't have been out on those cold stone stairs for that long, hoping for someone inside to just go "Hey, isn't it weird that she's not here yet or answering her phone? Should we check the door?" without it turning into some Charles Dickens bullshit. We were going to see Knives Chau too, and I was really looking forward to it, so I just felt so disappointed and let down.

Also, the amount of people who just walked by when I was sitting there kinda blew me away. A girl huddled up in an entrance without a coat on a pretty cold night, just sitting there. No-one asked if I was OK, or needed any kind of help, or if something had happened. Right after high school, a friend of mine was dumped by her boyfriend and had sat in a subway station crying her eyes out, and she told me that no-one had said a word or even looked at her, and she made me promise that if I ever saw anything like that, that I'd try to talk to the person and ask what had happened. Just not be a dick, basically. But I don't know if it's a city phenomena or whatever, but no-one appears to give a shit. And then I wonder how much of a shit I give, really, to the people around me on an everyday basis. Not all that much. Is it just the way things are? Is it the way things should be?