On red wine oopsies and being constantly hungry

Today had the potential to be such a good day. I had coffee and dumplings with the Puppy, was asked about my views on Japanese literature at work, and made a good amount of tips. Then I accidentally knocked a glass of red wine on a customer and things felt horrible after that.

Rationally I can tell that it wasn't that bad. She wasn't hurt. I didn't stab her. She'll need dry cleaning and will send the bill, which I'm not even sure I personally have to pay (and if I do, it'll dock, what, 200 SEK from my paycheck?). It's just a matter of principle. I hate fucking up.


This isn't even the first time I've spilled alcohol on someone. During my first week I spilled beer on a customer and I lived through that . There's a huge difference between drunk men in their 20s and sober women pushing 30. Drunk men you just knock a few beers off their tab or give them something for free (preferably more alcohol). They're so much easier that way. When a woman's only been drinking water the whole evening and still gets a bath of red wine at the end, I'll feel bad. She didn't seem to take it too terribly though, and I guess that was good, but I was feeling pretty rattled and headed over to Hemingway's even though I'd said I wanted some time for myself. Hugs are nice.

Pictured: my feelings after I finished my shift.

I was massively hungry all day again today. What's up with that? My lunch went like this: sandwich, hot chocolate, 16 fucking chicken dumplings with a side salad of glass noodles and tea, a slice of chocolate cake and coffee. Shit. A never-ending eat-athon.

Is it wrong that I still feel a little bit hungry?