On language barriers and lack of sleep

Trying to communicate about feelings with someone who doesn't speak the same language to the same degree of proficiency is a little like standing on two mountain peaks and trying to communicate by screaming to each other over the wind. "How do you feel about me?" "I'm fine, thanks!" and then there's nothing really to go on, and the conversation moves on to other totally banal things that don't mean shit. So much for trying to understand the situation. Then again, I'm pretty sure that I'm totally overreacting to everything in the whole world right now. I should just, I don't know, calm the fuck down or something.

That being said and everything being terribly confusing, I manage to sort out some other business that's been needing my attention recently regarding more feelings and other people. I tend to forget that people I actually know IRL might be reading this, so things potentially get a little weird when people go "Hey, I read in your blog that..." and so on. Anywho, I met with the Philosopher and went for a long walk, talking through stuff and trying to understand each other a bit more. Talking and reaching conclusions about where to go next tends to be something I'm not very enthusiastic about or good at, but this talk exceeded my expectations in how easy it was. I mean, I still felt physically nauseous after a while from the tension of actually speaking my mind. But hey, making headway in the talking-about-feelings department, I guess that's worth celebrating. Progress, and with it understanding from others and more feelings of closeness and affection. I guess it's a good exchange.


I think I'm developing some sort of cold, which totally sucks given that I'm working 42 hours this week. It's one of those cough-until-you-almost-want-to-vomit type of deals, and shit, they sure suck. Just the thought of potentially going to work sick like I did that 9 day work week a few months ago makes my head swim. Six days, one day off, hopefully only four days if I manage to get my birthday off and then nine whole additional days off. It'll be magical. I always get sick at the worst times. I guess staying up talking to T on Skype until 4 a.m. this morning didn't really help my body get the rest it clearly seems to want. I should try to take care of myself a bit more, but there's just too much to deal with regarding life and all things that belong to it.