On ostriches and confessions

Even after dreams involving nightmarish parts about work, moving abroad, trying to save a dying kitten that I keep forgetting to feed and people riding ostriches with snowshoes, the feeling of being able to sleep in until 11 a.m. after having to be at work at this time for four days in a row is great.

The things you find googling ostriches, man. But yeah, I wonder what Freud would have to say about all of this.

It's weird how dreams can really affect your mood for the day. I had a post on other stuff thought out, recounting for my New Years celebration, but honestly I just feel too drained to be able to write about it with any convincing enthusiasm today. The new year has started, but I'm still every bit as confused as I was the year before. I guess some things don't change over night, even if you wish they would.

I've fallen for someone. It's complicating things for me to no end. Out of an interest of self-preservation I should've nipped it in the bud when I felt it coming on, but I was having too much fun, and I thought I would be able to handle it proficiently. Suffices to say, I'm in no position to make any kind of judgement calls like this. I always fail. Obviously this puts me in an uncomfortable situation where I don't want to be. Decisions about my future feel heavy, and I'm probably not making much sense to him either since I can never really seem to accept the fact that someone may actually like me. My personality's funny, it swings between crazy narcissism and juggling a hopeless inferiority complex.

Anywho, I think a lot of these start-of-the-year's blues come from a lack of R&R, so I'm going to do my very best to not act like a crazy person and just get through the last two days of work for the week. Just another twelve hours all together before I can breathe easily for the weekend. One thing I'm really looking forward to with this year is to leave this whole service job thing behind. My being nice and smiling every day is far more expensive than they're paying me for it.