On great joy and HR being the root of all evil

Today was very much a day of being torn between extremes. This morning I was hanging out with Pony, watching our morning Gintama and talking shit, when the doorbell rang and the mailman was there with a really big package. Turns out it was an enormous present from T. Oh the happy! School could go to hell, I rushed in to open it and revel in its Japanese goodness.

Excitement in a box.

Feeling a tiny bit spoiled here.

Traditional candies, snacks with GTO on (after us having joked last week about wanting him to teach me about motorbikes. "No! You've watched too much GTO!"), five Gintama books (I read Japanese really slowly and had just prided myself on having read half of those I own since friggin' August. Nope, back to >50% again. But I love Gintama so I'm not complaining), this week's issue of Shounen Jump and two CDs (a Greatest Hits by Utada Hikaru and the new Sakanaction CD).

God in CD format.

Best of all, he'd written a letter and also included a collage he made featuring pictures from when we hung out during my trip to Japan last summer.

Good times, good memories...

...and me as a cat. A sea cat.

Needless to say, I was floored and ecstatic and in a great mood all day at school because of it. T has an amazing ability of sensing when I'm tired and overworked, and sends amazing gifts that perk me up like nothing else to coincide with these times. Especially the collage made me really happy. I've made T collages in the past and I doodle wildly in all my letters to him, and recently he's started mirroring it and is more creative with what he sends me too. I really appreciate him sending me things, and I love trying new snacks and candies, but it's when it's personal things that can't be bought that I'm at my happiest and most grateful.

One of the things that make my running away to Japan less scary is the fact that T will be around. His rational thinking and very structured way of being has really been beneficial in the past and a good counterweight to my (sometimes too) carefree nature (for example, on O and I traveling to Tokyo: T - "How will you get to Tokyo from Narita airport?" Me - "Not sure, we'll figure it out." T - "How will you find your hostel?" Me - "Meh, we have a map, we'll be fine." T - "...OK, I'm worried. I'm picking you up."). After getting to know him 15 months ago, we've become really good friends. Funny how randomly answering an ad for a language exchange partner can lead to (hopefully) lifelong friendships.

So that was all great. Where's the misery, you're wondering? Well, Hemingway's HR are complete ass-hats. We'd talked about when he was coming home, and up until today he still wasn't clear on exactly what day that would be. When he left he said he'd be gone three weeks, which would lead to him being home sometime next week, and we made plans to spend the weekend together. This afternoon he told me that chances are they're not sending him home until the end of April, and instead will be sending him around the world, to Singapore, the States and other places, and I feel heartbroken. Going from crossing out days in the calendar and counting down, to just waiting indefinitely. It's like he's off to war and I'm waiting for him to get back on leave without getting trench foot.

Hemingway's work trips as visualized in my head.

He seemed as upset about it as I was, which was a (small) comfort. It doesn't seem to be completely set in stone, and he told me to not worry. "We will solve this, 'cause I am your panda." Just the fact that he's trying to do something about it and isn't just going "yeah, another month, that'll suck" makes me feel grateful and like he really cares (as well as buying into my weird nicknames. I love strange nicknames, and I'm happy he wasn't offended when I started saying he was a panda). I was just happy that Y was home to sit and stroke my hair while I lay on the couch staring listlessly in front of me. It feels pretty terrible to go from the extreme happiness I was feeling this morning to the absolute low that followed in the afternoon. It makes me extremely tired and makes me want to curl up somewhere and just sleep and sleep and sleep.

Both Pony and G were great about it all evening. We bought pizza and sat around talking, later playing games and joking around, and it made me feel a lot better. All I can do is hope that things work out for the best really. Until I know more, I'll try not to think of it and just throw myself into work and a Sakanaction-infused haze.

Taking this as an omen.

Things will look brighter in the morning.