So yeah, last night. Parent night. The night of first impressions. I think 'awkward' is a sufficient word to sum up the experience.
I met them at the subway station, and immediately felt like some sort of stretched out giraffe person. Hemingway's a good three to four inches shorter than I am, but somehow I'd manage to not take into consideration that his parents would be even smaller. They were like a head shorter than me. I felt like a giant.
I'm hopelessly awkward with new people, especially new parents, since they're scary. I don't know, I have this thing with people in a position of authority that just makes me want to run and hide most of the time. Like Pony said, "You don't even want to be around my parents and you even like them!" Anywho, Hemingway shows up at the subway with his parents in tow, and after an awkward handshake we start moving toward the restaurant. "You're wearing so much makeup!" Hemingway says under his breath. Fuck that, no more than a normal day and I'm definitely not changing my style or appearance for people I don't know. "Don't walk so fast!" he wheezes at me as I've geared into my racing walk that tends to come out when I'm nervous (and as my legs are like three times as long as his parents, I was leaving them to eat dust). We get to the restaurant, order and get to eating. Hemingway nudges my side and whispers "Don't eat so fast!". All these little orders are making me feel more and more awkward and weird, and although I think I managed to make nice conversation, I keep praying that Hemingway will swoop in and bring the dreaded task of talking about myself away from me. When Hemingway's dad went in to pay and Hemingway hissed "Say thank you!" loud enough for it to be audible, I kinda lost it and went completely beet red in the face. Obviously I was going to thank him for dinner. I wasn't raised in a barn. The whole insistence on telling me what to do just made me feel like I was eight years old and it was embarrassing. Hemingway's parents just kinda laughed it off and told me to be myself, but it was still horribly awkward.
I helped them get from their hotel to Hemingway's apartment today, which resulted in some more awkward moments and broken conversation, mostly between me and Hemingway's dad, as Hemingway's mom is even more awkwardly silent than I am. Some topics flowed better than others, but it's like when they'd ask me something on one of these topics, instead of continuing to talk about it, they'd switch topics yet again, making the whole encounter feel kinda like a job interview or an interview comparing life in Sweden and Hong Kong. Hemingway did say that his dad would compare everything to Hong Kong, but I don't know if I was completely ready for literally every other sentence starting "You know, in Hong Kong..." But I digress.
They're genuinely nice people, and they were really sweet to me the whole time. I just know from experience that it takes a really long time for me to relax around other peoples' parents. I think I've only really managed once, and that was with my ex's mom, who was a saint and the kindest woman I've ever known. She stepped in as an extra mom for me while my parents were abroad, but even then it took almost two months of living under her roof before I stopped hiding in my ex's room and spoke without being spoken to. According to Hemingway, they seem to like me, so I must've done something right. Maybe it was to not run in panic from lunch today when they casually brought up the difference in wedding styles between Sweden and Hong Kong, because that totally happened. Suave move there.
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