On problems I didn't even know I had

How I feel the world views me sometimes.

Moonlight called Pony last night, stating how worried and sad he was that I didn't want to talk. He told her that he's really worried about me, and was apparently worried about my weight, He said I looked thin, which surprised me because I was wearing my regular work jeans that my parents got me for my birthday, and I didn't think it would change that much in two months.
"I don't look that much thinner though, right?" I asked Pony, thinking she would agree and expose his worries as the guilty conscience bullshit I suspected them to be. "Have I really lost weight in the weeks I haven't seen Moonlight?"
"Yeah, you have," she said. "I just haven't said anything because you say you've got it under control and I don't want to nag. You've thinned out even more, especially your thighs. I'm smaller than you are, but your legs are now thinner than mine."

I swear, I don't notice when that shit happens. I've been going around thinking that my weight has been at a steady level these past few months. Hearing that it probably hasn't, from someone who's hurt me pretty bad no less, leaves me nothing short of defensive. I don't want his sympathy. I don't want him to worry about me. I don't feel like it's his place. Obviously this is unfair of me, since I'm the best friend he has here and I just disappeared off the map when we wanted different things, but I need the distance. I've actually felt good the past two weeks, but this is sneaking its way into my mind and not really leaving me alone. It's really bothersome. I don't need weight issues or people not loving me in the back of my head.

Work apparently doesn't love me either. I checked my account balance today to find that they haven't paid me for last month. Looks like I'll have to go by Karate wife tomorrow and ask what the hell is going on. I have enough to make it rather comfortably to the end of the month, but I really really need to get that money. This passive aggressive shit is like when they wouldn't order the beer that'd been out of stock for weeks. It just serves to make my life more difficult. Ah well.