On emails and life goals

How can it take so long for schools to read an email and answer it? I asked them four days ago, requesting a total of maybe two sentences from them stating that yes, I have in fact been a student at their schools, and yes, the language of tuition was English, and still nothing. It should take a grand total of maybe five minutes, checking my records included. If I can figure out all my other visa shit in the time before that, they should be able to answer a fucking email. I might even have my scheduled meeting with architecture school before getting anything even similar to a response from the others. It's stressful, and it sucks. Answer your emails, you fucks.

The reason I'm dogging people is because it has to be sent by post, and that's a system I kinda really don't trust. Sending stuff to Japan takes forever, and it needs to be in by the 24th, so I wish it would all get done sooner rather than later, so that I can send the whole thing off within a week. I've stopped being as nervous about the whole thing, probably due to going into 'Get shit done'-mode, and also because I feel that any company that ultimately wants to make money off me won't waste time and resources backing me up for a visa. If they didn't think it would work out, they wouldn't sponsor me. Obviously it still doesn't feel entirely like it's just a matter of formality at this point, but it's nice to have gotten over the crippling fear of... well, everything. Really, I'm just back to refreshing my inbox. Everything is the way it was befor, only a bit more... I don't know, exciting? Not the kind of crazy running in circles exciting, but that calm excitement where you know that something is going to happen. Finally.

Pursuing things you find important is scary, but every time I hear Larry Smith's TEDx-talk, I get riled up and enthusiastic about life. "'If only I had...' If you ever have that thought ricocheting in your brain, it will hurt. A lot." Having that thought in my brain is a motivational force in and of itself.

I've been in a good place recently, even though things have been weird and awkward. I feel good. Yesterday, it seems like I was the only one around who wasn't having a distinctly shitty day. Pony, G, Sand and Knives all had varying degrees of issues for the day. I help in any way I can, because they're my friends and I love them, but everyone at once was a little bit overwhelming. I was glad that the Puppy came over as well, because I very much needed someone to imbue me with some happy. It's nice to feel good enough about where I am mentally to be able to be supportive of other people, but it's tiring to be, as Sand puts it, 'Big Mama', and it's upsetting that I can't make the distinction if people were like this while I was feeling bad too, or if I was just not feeling well enough to acknowledge that they were. I wonder about it, even though it really doesn't lead to anything. Things are what they are I suppose.

Anyways, things aren't all bad and boring. I'm getting my hair cut with the Puppy today, and will be swinging by the restaurant where Karate wife works to talk to her about my salary not coming in. Seriously, that shit is beginning to annoy me. Then, good coffee, laundry and just getting some paperwork done in peace tonight. Life might be messy sometimes, but all in all it's far from bad. I kinda really like it. Yay life!