On strange affections

I wonder if I'm right to feel like a dirty pervert for having a slight obsession/crush on Karate son. In my eyes, that boy can do no wrong. He's only 15, but his calm and quiet demeanor intrigues me, and he has a smile that, as John Green so beautifully put it, could end wars and cure cancer. It's some kind of magic. Karate wife was playing with SameName's baby, joking with me, and Karate son came by and smiled that beautiful smile of his, and I couldn't help but feel a tiny bit enamored with this kid. Not like I'm going to pull him into a broom closet and rob him of his innocence or anything, but I just kinda wish I knew him. He seems like a really good kid, and he's by far my favorite out of the many Karate children. There's just something about him that resonates with me. I caught myself thinking I'd kinda miss him once I stop working at the restaurant. Oh well. It's nice to know that people with dick dads don't always end up dicks. That in and of itself should be worth something.

I spent yesterday afternoon before work with Inkybrother, wandering around until we reached Moderna Museet and their book shop, where we walked around for a pretty long time drooling over books. Naturally I found the fashion section and couldn't help myself when I found a book about draping, complete with patterns and everything. I love draping. I've always wanted to learn how to do it properly and produce my own Junya Watanabe and Comme des Garçons styled stuff. I'm way too broke to get anything of theirs for real. I sincerely hope I'll be able to afford my own taste one day. It would be magical. Until then, I'll just have to substitute the real thing for something I make by myself, which may ultimately be more satisfying. Maybe this broke thing is a good thing.

"Isn't it a bit redundant that it's called 'Drape drape'?" the Philosopher asked when he was paging through it. "What's wrong with just 'Drape'?"

I could marry this book.

Moonlight got back in touch with me today, asking if I still didn't want to talk to him. I'm conflicted about it, since I still feel a bit raw about it, but on the other hand I feel for him. Up until this awkward affair I've been his best friend here in Sweden. Adding the fact that he got all my friends as a bonus, cutting myself off from him must have isolated him pretty drastically. I miss hanging out with him too, even without the intimacy we used to have, but I don't know if I can handle seeing him without feeling sad. I'm in a place of emotional turmoil as is, waiting for Gaba to make up their minds about me and just trying to handle the moving nerves. I think a bit more time might be beneficial though, even though I feel much better about the whole thing than I did this time last week. Just imagine how much easier it will be by this time next week?

While still on the topic of strange social relationships, Shan told me that the evil Kirin man came to work during lunch when I wasn't there. He was in a very friendly, talkative mood, which surprised Shan greatly, as this man can out-grump the Grinch. While talking about the restaurant in general, he mentioned his dislike of the other waitresses ('that blonde one' in reference to the Swedish sisters and 'the Chinese one' in reference to Mafune). Shan asked him about me, to which he replied that he liked me and that I was good, with the exception of that one time when there were no paper towels in the bathroom and he freaked the fuck out. He apparently seemed impressed that I speak Japanese too. He actively avoids the restaurant during the days that the other waitresses work, which would explain why he shows up like a scary jack-in-a-box when I least expect it. I don't know what this charm I have over grumpy older men is. It's the same thing that makes Karate husband like me too, when he yells at others and fires people left and right. The Philosopher thought it may be because I come off as 'neutral', which I guess is thanks to the work mask I put on every day. I do what I'm told in an as efficient and professional way as possible, without showing emotion or bitching about it. I do kinda wish I had more balls though, from a feminist viewpoint. Telling people to go fuck themselves when they're being dicks is far better than awkwardly apologizing when it's not even your fault.