On watching Project Runway obsessively, S11E5

We're back again with a new challenge, this week designing for Miranda Lambert, some country singer I've never heard of before. Cue the "y'all"s and get your cowboy hats kiddos, we're heading into fringe territory.

The pair dynamic thing kinda turned into... well, not a team challenge at all, seeing as the looks didn't need to coordinate in any way. So everyone just kinda did their thing, no helping all that visible, no conferring except at the very start and a whole lot of "Gee, I hope my partner gets it together!".

Why do I think of slashed tires?

So this won, and while I'm really hypnotized by Richard's complete and utter lack of shoulders, I can only really give this dress a "meh" and a shrug of my shoulders. Then again, Miranda Lambert doesn't seem to have a history of wearing anything particularly spectacular, so I guess Richard pulled out a pretty wearable and only kinda boring look, all things considered.

A 70 s vibe that actually works for once.

I did hate on Amanda quite a bit last episode, and with this dress I'm feeling it was a bit undeserved, because this is really nice. Its shape would probably look really good on her, and for once I don't hate the fringe, it was pretty tastefully done. I'd put this over Richard's actually. Good job.

Yawn.

 Pony liked Ben's, I wasn't all that thrilled. And I wasn't thrilled with the way he was gushing over getting things done on time. Yes, you've had time management issues. Yes, you finally figured out how to make a schedule and stick to it. Good for you. You want a cookie? Sorry, fresh out.

It's not a bad attempt, but it's boring as shit. The bustle detail in the back was kinda cool, but apart from that, I wasn't wowed. And the bead thingie? Don't get it.

50 s prom dress anyone?

 While the idea might've been good, I don't see this coming together at all. The poof of the skirt makes it look kinda juvenile and dated, and can we talk about the bust please? I mean, Zac Posen didn't mention it until way late. Micheal Kors would've ripped Stanley a new one for it.

Yawn.

Nicely done but oh. So. Boring!

Oooh.

Kate's growing on me, actually. So far I've kinda liked what she does, and this isn't an exception. While I'm a little skeptical about the difference in tone between the leather and the skirt, I like that the leather corset goes all the way down to the hips. I liked it even more when she said it was Tu's idea. Speaking of which,

I like.

Tu, baby, I love you. Not so much for this dress maybe, even though it was seriously cool (but not exactly right for the challenge maybe), but for your brain. It never ceases to make me super happy. Like how he wanted to Gaga-ify Miranda Lambert, and how he seems to love any woman with a curve.

Oh, and his face when he was picked! Tu: (o・∇・)o
I love how he handled Tim too.
Tu: "On skirt I made three panel to make her look more curvy..."
Tim: "More curvy?!" Tu: "Yeees!" (‘ ∇‘ )
Tim: "So you really Gaga-ized her." (_　_|||)
Tu: "Yeah." (￣∇￣) *cuddles manakin*
Tim: *breaks down* "You really want to do this don't you."
Tu: "Yes!" (･∀･)

Ohh I just want to pick him up and hug him.

Why is her stomach hairy?

 Oh give it a rest already. I can't stand it anymore. Fucking Patricia, stop with the Pocahontas native American nagging! We get it! You have a heritage! Good for you. Stop making crafty projects and make something that doesn't rely on fabric manipulation for once. You are so much of a one-trick-pony that I don't know what to do with myself.

It looks hideous by the way. Chewbacca couture.

Barf.

Oh Mustachio, how you've let me down. What kind of crack have you been on these past few weeks? Don't you love us anymore? This is just so bad! Also, don't gush about how great your design is to everyone present. That's just jinxing it no matter how you look at it. This dress was bad and you should feel bad.

...but not as bad as you seemed to feel on the runway, that was painful. I don't hate you <3

This, on the other hand, I do hate.

Michelle's was just spectacularly bad, and her defense of it on the runway was embarrassing. Kudos for sticking up for your design where it counts, but please make something worth sticking up for. That necklace is cray-cray. Also, shut the fuck up with the whining. It's getting really reallyold. Loving the Nina Garcia-impression though, that was awesome.

I... I just... no.

Samantha, what happened? What happeneeeeeed?!

Unfortunate but kinda deserved.

Oh Matthew, I'm sorry, but your defeatist attitude got the better of you in the end. Maybe next time try not to look so much like a wounded puppy when being given a critique. Smiles are free, buddy.

Waiting a week for every episode blows, so I went on youtube to re-watch some old ones, and what do I find? PROJECT RUNWAY KOREA! Gotta love when the universe gives me two of my favourite things mixed into one. So stay tuned, kiddos; more Asian sensations and fashion bitchiness coming your way.