On suave facebook stalk... suitors

I'm all for people telling me they find me attractive. I thrive on it. I think I look nice, and if you think so too, then hey! we've got stuff in common. Today someone kinda threw me by being very vocal on the subject.

I came home from school, logged onto facebook and found that someone had poked me. "Wait, people still poke?" I thought, curiously poking back. This started some sort of poke war, and the poker (short-looking really young guy who looks like he above all else wants to be G-Dragon) messaged me.

That s understandable. I want to be G-Dragon too. Did I say be? I meant bang.

"give up now! u never win poke war with me!" Poke war, sweet. The 12-year old in my head wasn't going to lose anytime soon. You want a poke war kiddo? You've got yourself a poke war. I told him I'd never surrender. He told me "i want a fair fight though so dont send naked pictures"

...Wait, what? That really just happened?

Shit, man.

Shit was getting intriguing in a funny yet stalker-ish way. Are kids really allowed to say stuff like that nowadays? Is it not past his bedtime? So, being a sport, I told him I'd try my very best to contain myself. "let see about that. what has 127 teeth and is holding back the incredible hulk?" Please don't say your zipper, please don't say your zipper, please don't say...  

"my pants' zipper"

Goddamn it.

Really, up until an hour ago previous unknown facebook person? Really? So I asked him if jokes like that make it easy for him to pick up chicks on facebook (because hey, what girl doesn't love a good dick joke?). "hah yeah it works 90% of the time and ur in that percentage too!"

Pictured: my face. Except not.

Then he friended me on facebook and I had to think for a moment whether I really wanted this kind of extremely obnoxious behavior to be rewarded, but hell, I was entertained in a fucked up kinda way. He went on to describe himself as an alien and then called me weird. As a compliment, sure, but honey, don't be the pot calling the kettle black here. The whole experience was just so odd! I was chatting with my friend D at the same time, copy-pasting the poker's comments and laughing about them with him. D usually asks if I have any 'crazy' for him (meaning stories of what goes on in my life, because crazy shit happens all the time, like it's magically drawn to me), and it felt good to be able to give him this really bizarre real-time craz-a-thon.

I don't really have a point with this, other than the fact that I'm a little exasperated as to how people go about the business of meeting new people. Now I was in the mood to treat this all like a joke, but I probably shouldn't, lest he thought that's an OK way to be around people who don't find this as hilarious as I do. All in all I reacted to this 20-year old man-boy-child the way I'd react to an overly energized puppy.


I'm flattered, bemused and completely uninterested. Thank fuck for guys more age appropriate (and less batshit crazy).