Just before going to bed last night I noticed that I'd been sending a resume where I applied for the job as 'Preschool teacher' to jobs that didn't involve preschool teaching at all. Oops. Note to self - read through your cover letter more carefully and stop applying for jobs at 2 a.m. Luckily at least some of the stuff was teaching young kids, so there's always that, and I wasn't honestly thinking I was going to score with any of the others, so I'm going to go ahead and accept that yeah, I fucked up but it wasn't that big a deal. Fuck up or not, I'll have it figured out in the end.
It's just that... I feel a bit awkward about the whole thing. I'm a bit scared that potential employers will look away as soon as they see 'Nationality: Swedish' or the fact that I don't have any teaching experience. It worries me a bit. It's February already, and I really want to go before the summer. I just hope that there will be more jobs to apply for (that I won't fuck up by sending the wrong cover letters). Jobs that you can apply for from abroad don't grow on trees, so I really want employers to like me. Shit, I wish I'd get an email of some kind. Any kind at this point really. Just some kind of acknowledgement. ...but maybe I should give them more time than a week before I start whining that no-one is giving me a chance.
Pony asked me a while ago if it wouldn't just be easier for me to go to Japan and then try to find a job from there, and I've been thinking about it. My problem is the cost of living just hanging around there. Going on vacation with O burned a pretty substantial amount of money, and just coasting for I don't know how long might not be all that perfect either. I don't want to bother my friends about staying with them, so I'd need to find cheap accomodation someplace. There are guest houses that offer a pretty good price on longer rental times, so maybe I should try to hook up with one of those. It deserves some thought at least. Just browsing is making me wonder if maybe it is a good idea after all. I mean, with reasonable prices this could end up being a pretty good thing. Absolutely fucking terrifying, but yeah, probably good.
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| Because I actually want to see the goddamn sakura sometime. |
I tried asking T for advice about the whole thing, and the only thing he did was to tell me how unprepared I was and how many foreigners who speak English are in Japan right now, along with how few jobs are on the market. After pretty much puncturing every last shred of confidence I had left, he told me to not feel despair about it, and I just kinda snapped, leaving really angry messages before heading off to work for the final day of this craptastic week. I was devastated. Why do I even try? Why do I even care? Why does it feel like everyone's trying to fuck me up right now? It makes me really upset that he should do that when he knows how hard I'm trying.
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| For being my best Japanese friend, he sure can be an asshole. |
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