On brain exercise and wishing for snow

"No tip, you say?"

Today a customer (and former student of Karate Husband's) at work asked me if I was Karate Husband's daughter. I don't really know what to do with that assumption. I have dark hair and dark eyes, and I speak Japanese, but apart from that I don't think I look even remotely Japanese. I don't think I'd even pass for half-Japanese on a good day. Also I don't know if I want to resemble Karate Husband, even if I kinda like him. Then again, I guess there are worse things that people can assume about me than me being the daughter of a well-respected karate legend.

On grades and time-wasting

Yesterday was one of those extremely shitty days where you do nothing at all. I was bored as absolute fuck, lying in bed all day thinking "I might as well be at work. At least then I'd have something to do". When I start daydreaming about work when I have time off, that means that I'm pretty seriously bored. There's only so many episodes of Breaking Bad you can watch in a row without life beginning to feel utterly pointless. I mean, it's a great show and all, but christ, there should be more to life than that.

On Christmas woes and knitting nirvana

Christmas presents are hard. The whole consumer hysterics is pretty tiring, and I for one have way too much stuff. I try to get rid of stuff and keep my possessions to a minimum (except for books, because books are the best thing on the planet), so I don't want to give people a bunch of shit they don't need. Thus, gift-giving seasons are hard. I want to give practical things without being boring, things that people won't go "Heyyy... thanks." and then hide away at the back of some cupboard and never speak of again.

On giving emotions some breathing space

Man, taking responsibility for your emotions is pretty hard, but ultimately very rewarding. Lately I've been sorting through my messy personal life, instead of just hiding when things become shitty or awkward, and it's really proved to beneficial. I've even had the guts to do some stuff I probably wouldn't have had the guts to do before. Today, for instance, I found out that Norimaki-san was being moved to the other restaurant starting next week, so I wouldn't get to see her anymore. This came after a really funny and engaging conversation in the locker room, and I just felt devastated to lose her even though I'd only just gotten to know her, so (with a slightly quivering voice) I asked her before she left if she'd like to go out and have a beer with me sometime, since we wouldn't be able to see each other for a while, as I'm off work tomorrow. She responded with great enthusiasm and thanked me for asking her, scurrying off to procure a pen and wrote her phone number on a piece of paper for me, telling me to text her and she'd let me know when she'd gotten her schedule. I felt so proud of myself for taking that (probably not scary for most people, but kinda scary for me!) step to making a new Japanese friend, as well as a coworker friend. An older female coworker friend, who I'm not directly related to. I've never had one of those. I'm pretty psyched about it.

On bonds and brothers

I miss Sand. Yesterday we were both sick of everything going on in our different messy lives, and started daydreaming about being in the same place, calling in sick, buying a shit-load of candy and chips and staying in, watching series and movies all night. It sounded absolutely glorious, but obviously there was no way that could happen, not to mention that the only flight from Porto to Stockholm that day was 19 500 SEK. Eek! We'll have to wait until Sand comes back for Christmas, but at least then we'll be able to be truly lazy together.

On issues of the heart

"I'm constantly in awe of your utter lack of any self preservation instinct," Pony laughed at me as I was half-heartedly tried to defend my recent string of probably less than stellar decisions I've made about various things om the past few weeks. She's right though, I am bad at making decisions that will be good for me, especially when looking at the long-term effects. I always argue that as long as I'm happy and having fun, it can't be that bad, but I don't know. Maybe I'd be happier if I were less reckless with my heart, not to mention the heart of others.

On therapy and computer issues

Friday could possibly have been the best night out in... I don't know, ever I guess? Pony and I had so much fun, both sporting a hangover yesterday to prove it. Seriously, I was dizzy, light sensitive and exhausted, and yet really happy. I guess it's really true how when you do good things, life rewards you with some sweet deals, like new friends and having VIXX on your brain all day.

I think some people would find it weird to hear me go around singing "I need therapy, lalalalala therapy", but hell, at least it's catchy.