On the universal language of fashion - Project Runway Korea S1E7

Can't seem to stop being hungry today. Seriously, salad lunch and then a sandwich with coffee, and I'm still kinda hungry. Hide yo kids, hide yo wife... also any small animals. Pre-period munchies is some scary business.

Went out running again today, and you just know it's going to be a good run when this is the first song that randomly comes on...



...and this is the last.



Makes you get pumped! Also makes you feel less like a sniveling pollen monster and more like a member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad.

It's so nice to go running. All I think about while I'm out is pushing myself a little bit harder, running a little bit further, and how happy I feel when I find out I can. You see a tree further down the road, think "I'm going to run that far, then I can walk", and then find out that you're not tired when you reach that tree and can keep running even further, it feels awesome. I know I'm still nowhere near as fit as I'd like to be, but it feels good to not be at some sort of absolute rock bottom.

On LEGO dinosaurs and books by Haruki Murakami

You know you probably party a little too hard or drink a little too much when you're invited to a birthday party with lots of people you don't know and no alcohol and you feel a bit weird and apprehensive about it. I'm a little self-conscious around meeting new people and I'm shy, so meeting people is hard unless I'm in a really good mood or if I'm a little loosened up. Not slobbering drunk mind you, but like the comfortable one-beer-kinda-almost-tipsy. Still, was a lot of fun. They had an entire room devoted to LEGO, what more could anyone ask for?

I built a yellow LEGO dinosaur.

On the universal language of fashion - Project Runway Korea S1E6

Why oh why does my body crave chocolate after I've been out for a run? Isn't it the most counter-productive thing in the history of mankind? Y told me it means that my body wants energy, but I'm not hungry per se, I just want delicious dark chocolate with sea salt in it. That being said, one of the reasons I started running again was to kick my inner fat kid in the ass and stop indulging her with cookies and candy, and boy did I kick her in the ass today. Tried out Zombies, run! like I said I would (the c25k-program, seeing as I have asthma and it's been two major holidays with a lot of food and not a lot of movement when you're huddled in front of the computer doing school work). Was out for half an hour, had more energy than I thought I would, and the format really helped me. Running without anything to listen to is probably the most boring thing in the world, and I get out of breath almost immediately. Running with music works better, but damn, running with somebody telling you that zombies are behind you works really well. The story was engaging, and mixing it up with a running playlist from my phone just made the whole thing feel kinda awesome rather than like something I had to do because whatever.

Oh so true.

I've missed running. Now that the snow's melting I hope to be able to get back out there again roughly three times a week (even though right now the roads are all super icy and I almost slipped and died like a million times). It's nice how you end up feeling really good afterwards with endorphins, and post-workout showers are magical.

I'm off to spend the evening straightening out my room and getting to grips with the enormous mountain that is the dishes so I don't have to feel awkward when my friend comes over tomorrow to make cupcakes for a friend's birthday party. They're going to have little chocolate bikes on them. They're going to be awesome. Until then I leave you with what was, hands down, the best episode out of all the Project Runways in the history of the show. Well, the best challenge at least. Seriously. High fashion, yay!

On laziness and internet make-believe friends

Went to my parents' house today (for like the third time in two weeks, what the hell? Normally it's like a weekend every two to three months, now all of a sudden I'm in and out of there all the time. Ah well) to see my sister Hannibal (not really her name) who lives way up north with her family. Don't get to see her all that often, so I took time off from writing my thesis to go hang out for a bit with her and her two sons (who are loud and boisterous, just like the rest of my family). She greeted me by saying "Wow, you look like a Thai Tom" (which I totally take as a compliment because androgyny is awesome) and "You look more and more Asian every time I see you", which to me is confusing because generally Asian people aren't 179 cm or sporting white hair. I don't get it, but I'll take those as compliments, Hannibal. Doesn't even matter if they were meant as compliments to start out with, I'm taking them as compliments. Kinda like hostages. Dammit, my train of thought derailed again.

Oops.

On watching Project Runway obsessively, S11E10

Thesis season going on right now. Got my paper due Friday so every day is thesis day in my living room. Feels pretty good actually, it's been long since I felt motivated to really work, but it's an interesting subject and yesterday I raided the library taking every available book on Japanese architecture, so now I'm ready to get shit done.

That Korean book is just there for my own entertainment though. Architecture nerd warning.

So to give myself some inner blogging peace I'm going to stick you people with a post I've already prepared before, like if this were some sort of cooking show, and get to work on my own stuff. I'll catch you guys later, hopefully then with a more complete understanding of traditional Japanese architecture linking to modernism. Anyone who doesn't find that interesting is just... not interested in traditional Japanese architecture or modernism I guess. No biggie.

 So yeah, back again with another episode of drama drama drama. This week it was about creating a look of 'wearable art' and a commercial companion piece, and Christ, there was a lot of product placement to go with it. It was the HP fabric creating challenge (yeah, a million challenges in one), so obviously I expected some, but when Tim had to go off on a several minute praise fest of how fantabulous everything about the new HP computer was I just wanted to die a little inside, the same way I'm guessing Tim did. Ugh. I mean, a regular episode is bad enough as it is - mention the HP touch pads (yeah, no sketching on paper here, we're all digital. Ugh), mention Mood, have awkward non-fluid conversations about how fabulous the concealer you're using is... It's so low.

Anywho, some was good, some was bad and a lot was just bitchy. Starting out with the winning team:

Ooh.

On the world not being fair and being angry about it

Today I was pissed.

I was really pissed about having to wait for answers from the currently all-powerful HR. I was pissed about not knowing anything in terms of time. I was pissed that I have a boyfriend I can't even see. It's like dating an invisible friend. Sure, I talk to him every day online, but if I wanted a distance relationship I wouldn't have started dating someone who lives and (supposedly) works in Sweden. Shit's just not fair. Knowing that Hemingway will probably be back sometime this month is about as much use to me as a hat made out of omelettes. It makes me upset, which in turn makes me act like a total dick towards others.

Even if it's nothing I can help (nor Hemingway either), to meet, fall in love and then not get to see each other for the longest of times is really fucking with my brain. Happy chemicals are going haywire and then dying out without me getting my fix, so I sit around like a heroin addict waiting (im)patiently for my tiny daily dose that comes from talking, longing for the day when I get my next real hit - when we actually meet up again.

Me, if I were a man with veins capable of shooting anything up.

The fact that I also have a migraine doesn't make any of this any better.

On control issues and overused cliches

Went to my parents' house yesterday for a quick Easter visit. After way too much food and laziness I came back again today, and tomorrow school starts all over again. Remember that thesis I've been talking about? Yeah, it's due Friday, so let's get some work done this week, eh?

The perfect building on a perfect day.

Going through my pictures from when O and I went to Katsura last summer, I'm reminded (like I always am when it comes to my trip) of how much I actually miss Japan. It was probably the best trip of my life, and it just made total sense to go back long-term as soon as I could. It's a lot of work to get there, but I'm on my way, and while there are things that I really like about Sweden, I'd probably resent both them and myself if I didn't take the chance to go. Life's amazingly complicated sometimes. Just gotta hope that things turn out for the best anyway.