On house souls and personal improvements

Man, life, you know? It's hard to be a functioning adult.

It would seem like I'm saved from the horrors that is shitty credit. Out of panic I hurried up and payed the next payment right away too, because I'm not going back to that feeling, fuck no. I've been thinking of getting another job, one with more financial security. I wish I could move more into the architecure realm, although I have these crippling insecurities that I'll never be able to do it right. I could probably score another teaching job without all too much hassle, but what's the point of switching jobs if I'll still be doing the same thing? It seems rather pointless.

It's a slow process and all, but compared to where I was two years ago, I'm so much  more stable now. I'm beginning to get an alright financial situation (after that scare and all), I'm doing alright at my job, my social life is kinda beginning to line up a little (...?), and I fucking floss. I've even started thinking about taking up swimming again. There's a pool near my house, and I figured I could always go before work. Food and beer in this country is just too damn delicious, and I've been pretty preoccupied lately, so I feel like I've been getting... I don't know, fluffy. Not terribly so, but a little, and I feel apprehensive about stepping on a scale to confirm (Edit: I just did. Results were horrifying). I should get back to doing yoga again. It felt nice to feel strong, you know?

Turtle and I are going away in the middle of July. I'd love to look cute in a bikini or whatever hanging out on the beach or wherever. That in and of itself is probably a pretty dumb mindset - he's well aware of what I look like after all, but for myself it would feel nice. Also, I think my health (and my liver) would totally thank me.

Looking back from even just a year ago, I've come a long way in remodeling myself and my life. It's like I had this house inside me that was totally torn apart by a tornado, and in the past year I've sturdied the foundation and now have the load-bearing systems pretty much in place - now it's all about the fluff that goes around it. Fixing things up little by little, I'm hoping to become a better version of myself within this next year to come. One step at a time.