On chills

I have zero chill with this new job. Not that they're demanding a lot from me or anything, but I'm demanding a lot from myself. Before Gaba - architecture. After Gaba - architecture. The fact that the bat is kinda, well, mine makes me very invested in making sure it turns out amazing. So I sit, snivelling in my heavily air conditioned room with the curtains drawn to keep out the relentless heat, and try desperately to think of something cool (pun intended).

On kidneys and the fear of losing them

Since I got crazy sick in Shizuoka, I decided to tap out of going to the architecture office. I felt bad to have to cancel on the second week, but I was just so out of it that there was no point in me being there. I emailed them very regretfully, waiting to get yelled at or a snarky reply or any of the things I've kinda grown to expect from Gaba, but the reply just surprised the hell out of me.

"If you do not feel well, please do not push too much. /.../ Please take a rest and take care! Do you have medicine etc?? If you have any problem, let me know. We are willing to help."

I'm just so not used to it. I feel a little bit like their exotic pet or something. And this all makes me wonder why again. Why are they so damn nice? Like, are they going to try to steal my kidney?

On beaches, buildings and babies

Summer greetings, Silent readers! It's hot as balls here in Japan, but the weather is absolutely lovely. And speaking of lovely, Turtle and I just spent the most wonderful mini-trip at the Izu peninsula in Shizuoka. So if you guys are uninterested in reading about me going super mushy, consider yourself warned - serious mushiness up ahead.

On kindness and cosmic irony

So you know how I mentioned that everyone at the office is really nice and lovely to me? Well, they are. They really are.

On play pretend and nerves

 It's update time!

On spontaneous bosses and immense pressure

I get the feeling that my would-be architecture boss is impulsive as hell. This may just be me having ideas about artists' creative angst or whatever, but he seems to promise a lot before thinking things through. Yesterday, after having set up what time I should arrive on Monday (10.15, omg omg omg), he suddenly emailed me saying (and I paraphrase): "Uh, yeah, what's your visa situation again? I need to make sure you actually can work for me," saying that he'd have his partner/wife look into it.

This is their exchange, as visualized in my head:
Boss: Honey, I think we should hire this Swedish girl I just met.
Boss' wife: Uh...
Boss: She has zero experience.
Boss' wife: Uh...
Boss: But she's from this pretty prestigious university, and her portfolio looks kinda interesting.
Boss' wife: Uh...
Boss: Let's take her on for a month, see what happens.
Boss' wife: Uh... Jesus Christ, honey, you've at least checked that she has the visa for it, right?
Boss: Uh...
Boss' wife: I can't believe you! It's like you're trying to sabotage us, and just when things are getting really busy too! God, I'll have to find some way to fix this situation you keep putting us in.
Boss: Fine! I was just trying to help, but whatever.
[Boss storms out angrily to drink in Golden Gai with random woman, only to find new foreign architect and promise them a job at his firm.]

And SCENE.

On work ethic and narcissism

Gaba students are some bullshit. A week after June is finished someone gives me a 3 and fucks up my score. So far for July, there's a rain of 4s happening. If I ever needed a reason to get out of this place, being instantly put in a shitty, vengeful mood when I wake up is as good as any, right?

Seriously though, this job makes me despise people. I'm really trying to not burn any bridges with this architecture job being very far from a sure thing so far, but Christ, I want out. I've smelled freedom and now I can't stay. I kinda wonder if it's that I really want to do this architecture job or if I just really don't want to do Gaba anymore. In any case, as absolutely terrified as I am, I have no second thoughts about taking the plunge.

On flickering lights

Accidentally pressing the button to the wrong floor today had me almost stepping out into a darkened hallway with flickering lights. Thanks, but I'd rather not be chased around and ultimately killed by Pyramid head if that's all the same to you.

On trade ups

Yesterday Birdie came to me, saying: "I just started talking to the hottest guy on Tinder," showing me a picture that made my blood freeze. It was this guy I met over Tinder myself once, who (without going into too much detail) turned out to be kinda sociopathic and a total narcissist/alround scary dude. I obviously told her all about it, and now we're concocting an elaborate plan for revenge, but it kept me kinda off balance for part of the day. That all disappeared when reaching Turtle's house. You guys know why?

"I bought you this hamper you can put your work clothes in while you're here!"

"I put your headphones away for you while you were in the shower!"

Could the guy be any more lovable?

On soap style dramas

The architect from the bar contacted me last night about starting at their office mid-July, stating how very busy the were. From the start he's been very clear about me not being allowed to say that we met in a bar. This felt pretty obvious to me, since it didn't exactly make me sound awesome either, so I just figured it went without saying. In the email from last night, he stated it yet again, saying "I have a partner (my wife) as design director in my office so please do not tell her we met at the bar :)", giving me some crap story about how I was supposedly recommended to him by some friend of mine instead."Sorry for this but I just need to keep the office nice way." Seeing as he was with some random woman the night we met, my brain kinda went: "Oh. Ohhhh." and things now feel a little weird.