On Hogwarts houses and the thought of losing people

I had a really weird dream about Moonlight the other night. I dreamt that he for some reason started dating an American man, who wouldn't let him be my friend anymore. I tried reasoning with him and asking him why, since he used to say that I was his best friend, but he just kept telling me that we weren't friends anymore. I tried talking to him about it, but his new bartending job seems to keep him really busy, and he doesn't call me like he used to. I miss him. After we stopped seeing each other we eventually developed a nice friendship, and we'd been talking about visiting each other, me going to Seoul and him coming to Tokyo, and that we'd go traveling around Asia in February together. Now, I feel forgotten, and I want to have him back in my friend sphere again. Ex-lover or not, he's really special to me, and I want him in my life. I just hope this dream wasn't some weird psychic vibe telling me that the fun's over. That'd suck some balls.

"Right after we've finished studying the Social Styles, we'll be parachuting into Normandy."

Anyways, today I spent the day on a certification course that I really hope I passed. I say hoped, because they had a test that was way too long and detailed and expected it done in 30 minutes with a 70% pass score, and I only had time to answer half of the last question. Even if I didn't pass, it was probably beneficial, as it was about different personality types that come to work, and how to deal with them. The course was carried out by the spitting image of Major Winters from Band of Brothers, who was a really nice guy. I feel like I won the award of Nerdiest when I likened the Gaba Social Styles to the Hogwarts houses, but they really were! And besides, when girls quote geeky shit it's adorable. Pop culture told me so.

We had to have three people fill out a questionnaire about our personalities, so I picked the Philosopher, Pony and a third friend from Liverpool, and when I tallied the scores (and added in my own self evaluation), I was pretty shocked to see that they all in the middle. I didn't sort in any of the Gaba Hogwarts houses. I didn't belong anywhere. Major Winters found this interesting, and said that this was a good thing as it makes me really adaptable and able to mesh with pretty much any client, but I almost would've wanted to be sorted. It would've been easier to have an identity assigned, you know? Just to know what's what.

The funny thing is that we were required to have a presentation in front of the class. Now, normally, I'd be shaking and feeling nauseous and just dreading the whole thing, but today, for some reason, I just breezed through the whole thing feeling almost completely comfortable and confident. I was pretty damn surprised at myself. In a way, my Tokyo self is way different from my Stockholm self. I guess that's not too hard, seeing as my Stockholm self was an unhappy unemployed girl at probably the most insecure point of her entire life, but it's surprised me how different I am now. I'm confident, relaxed and much more outgoing. It feels both natural and unnatural at the same time, and it's something I don't really know if it's okay or not. The Philosopher and I ended up having a really long talk last night about me having changed, and things not being exactly as they were during the spring. Not like a bad talk or anything, but I've changed a lot to him too. Things are a little weird. Not unfixably weird, but weird. He said he'd work on getting to know Tokyo me, and if Tokyo me feels the same way that Stockholm me did, we're fine, which makes me happy. I'm 25 years old and I still can't say for sure who I am. I wonder if it's ever possible?