On having a body set on mutiny and other aspects of really bad days

I don't know if you silent readers have bodies like mine, bodies that seem to fucking hate your guts. Last night all the nerves and the sleeplessness caught up with me, and I felt absolutely terrible by the time I got home on Sunday, and it hasn't subsided since. Headache, nausea, the works. Really not all that convenient when I'm doing my Initial Certification week for work. Taking notes has been fine, and I scored 100% on both of the written quizzes, but towards the end of the day I was so exhausted and in pain that I couldn't make heads or tails of the exercises given. I must've looked exhausted, because the Chinese Canadian instructor made a point of opening the doors for me, which he hadn't done for the Taiwanese girl who left about 45 seconds before me. Sweet, but ultimately it just made me realize that I probably looked as wretched as I felt, which is terribly un-charming.

Apparently 7-8 p.m. is still peak rush hour time in the Tokyo subway system, so it was packed all the way back to the apartment as I stood trying very hard for my head not to burst. When I actually did manage to score a seat, some guy's bag smashed into my head when the train made a sharp turn, and I just wanted either the world or me to die. This town didn't feel big enough for the both of us. I got back to the house about half an hour before my parents, half an hour I spent cradling my head on the stairs and rocking back and forth to try to take my mind of how bad everything hurt.

I'm kinda dreading the peer evaluated lessons that are coming tomorrow. I know they're just practice runs and all, but still, they kinda freak me out. I don't think I'm terrible, and if I manage to get a good night's sleep I think I might even be okay, and I think I'll feel less stressed when I have the full 40 minutes to do the lesson in, but it's still a cause for concern. I just don't want there to be a problem, and I really don't want people to think I suck.

They're all nice enough I think, but at this point I'm so fed up with never having any time to myself that I'm just being polite. I went to lunch with two of them today, and I've been casually chatting to a few others, but I don't really feel all that motivated to make friends. Conversation is pretty boring because everyone's pitching the usual get-to-know-each-other crap, and I'm not really in the mood to switch it up. I just want to get this week as far away from me as possible, with as little damage to my personal well-being as possible.

Sample conversation during breaks.

I really hate the whole suit thing too. I mean, my suit is nice. Puppy has a surprisingly good eye for that kind of stuff and helped me look cute, albeit corporate cute, but I miss my artsy clothes. I miss looking like myself. I can't wait for the weekend, when I'll be signing the contract of my new apartment, going to IKEA like the Swedish expat that I am, and just kicking back for a bit. God, it's like I've almost forgot how to kick back, and I used to be the goddamn Kick Back Champion.