On babies and the repulsion that comes with them

I think I may have mentioned her before on the blog, but my mom's childhood best friend's daughter, who's the same age as me (actually younger by about nine months), just had a baby. A friggin' baby. I can't even begin to relate.

Until this ceases to be the first thing I think about when thinking about babies, I should probably just go ahead and stay away from them.

Having something grow inside you for nine months like some sort of nutrient-eating parasite, at this age, is just one of the most horrifying things I can imagine for myself. And then, once it comes out, you literally spend millions on it, like a very expensive pet that takes years to get house trained. At 24, there's so much more I want to get out of my life before I have to give it up to look after others - more studying, more traveling, more experiencing, more going out and getting hammered without (as many) judging looks from society. I don't know if children will ever be my thing, or if I have them and become one of those people who only likes their own children and thinks everyone else's are smelly. I just know that I saw the picture of this girl's kid on facebook, and all I did was recoil and go 'DO NOT WANT' internally.

And I can't seem to catch a break about feeling really weird about it either. People all go "Ah well, 23 isn't so early. Now 17, that's early." and then start giving me the condescending 'Some people want other things from life than you do' speech, when I obviously know that and all I wanted was to gossip about how gross it feels for me. I should go to Yanyan with stuff like this. At least he gets me.

The Puppy once said he thought I'd make a great mother under specific circumstances. "Your kids would be awesome and I think you'd be great - provided of course that you were able to live your life the same way you live it now. If things started to encroach on your freedom or you suddenly had to stop doing things you really wanted to though... that's a different story." I guess it can all be summed up in that I'm way too self-absorbed to handle anything remotely in that direction right now. And that's fine, or at least it should be. Instead, people seem to think you're kinda strange if you just want to do your thing, like you're not a 'proper woman' or whatever until you have kids. Like it's one of those stages of being an adult, and people who don't go through it are all unhappy and should be pitied. Ugh.

Nah, to me, life seems so much more fun when I just get to be an immature kid myself. I want to keep being twelve mentally for a pretty long time to come. I don't see why anyone wouldn't.