On bathtubs and self-doubt

I went out Saturday feeling awesome, had a great time and danced the night away. Suddenly it was Sunday and I was sharing kisses in a bathtub with a man from Hong Kong. Oh my god you guys, short men. I never thought I'd be attractive to them, being tall and all (and I wore heels yesterday too), but I hooked up with this really cute Asian guy at the party, who I'll call Hemingway, and it was sweet.
Hemingway was awesome. Despite being quite a bit shorter than me he made me feel like it didn't matter at all. He'd hold my hand while walking anywhere and we made out for like forever. I'll never again make fun of tall guys who complain about short girlfriends, because goddamn, standing up and kissing makes your neck hurt. Anywho, he left for a business trip yesterday and who knows when he'll be back, and I'm torn between moping and grinning like an idiot at the thought of him. How the hell did that happen?

 In a way I get really easily freaked out by stuff like this, since I always think that people will forget about me and move straight on to greener pastures, and that there's no way that someone would feel for me the way I feel for them. I've been scared that Hemingway would forget about me or immediately lose interest, but he's been consistently letting me know that I'm on his mind, so I'm starting to feel better about it. I don't know why I have such a hang-up on this stuff - relationships never were my strong point, but I wish I could meet people and not feel fraught with anxiety over every little thing. Hopefully one day I'll get over it.

Yup, that s me.