On staying up for science

Tonight I have to stay up until 4 am for science. Really. I'm involved in an experiment regarding sleep and emotional response to images, so about a month ago I had my first part of the test where I slept hooked up to wires that monitor how my heart-rate and stuff is going (all hooked up by an amazingly charming Italian psychologist. I mean, yum). The next evening is spent in an MRI-machine, doing experiments and generally feeling silly. So yeah, now I'm doing it all over again, only this time I can only sleep for a grand total of 3 hours, and the hooking up was done by a mousy German woman, who was nice and all, but hardly thrilled me that way.

I should technically be writing my essay on Katsura Imperial Villa,

I love this place, it's so beautiful.

but I'm sleepy and bored and not in the mood to read much at all, so I thought I'd record my strange thoughts as they come to me throughout the night.
 Random thought nr 1: I find Zach Galifianakis pretty hot. Especially when disheveled.

Dear God, I wish I were kidding.

I don't know why, I'm not really a beard girl. I don't find him particularly funny. I just... I'd just probably straight up bang him. Don't judge me!

Random thought nr 2: I wish I'd look more like the Borg Queen with these wires on my face and head

Because let's face it, she's pretty bitchin'.

and less like some kid with cancer.

Pony: "Sweetie, you know I 'd never say this to you at any other time but... fuck, you look like shit right now."

Don't ask me to take the beanie off. It gets worse.  

Random thought nr 3: Why does surgical tape itchy so goddamn much? These stupid electrodes gave me welts on my face last time. Not hot. Now they're driving me crazy. Luckily they're only on for the next 3 hours or so, but I hate itchy things. The doctor in charge of the MRI-machine was cute too, and last time I was really nervous and probably came across as a bit of a freak, so this time it'd be great if I don't show up tomorrow with a big fucking rash all over my face. I consoled myself last time by googling and checking his facebook after the whole ordeal was over last time (That's what you get for not laughing at my joke. You just made the awkward moment I was trying to rid the room of even more awkward). "So your middle name is Åke huh?" A small piece of worthless knowledge that I can feel smug about him not knowing that I know. I'll never use it, just remember it because I can. I'm weird, so sue me. It's off to Lala-land now kids. Over and out.

...Just checking in again with some more random thoughts from today.

Random thought nr 4: Why is the neuroscience doctor such a dreamy guy? Is it unethical to try to date your doctor? He talks a little like a robot. I called to say I was there, and he was like "How very good of you to come early on account of the weather. I shall be by shortly to open the door for you." (paraphrasing of course, since this was in Swedish). I don't know if he's shy around people he doesn't know too or if that's just his way. Doesn't matter much. But it's nice to have a friendly face pushing all those machine buttons and sticking stuff on your face. He seems sweet though - he pulls the blanket up so you won't be cold and has his hand on your arm for comfort until you're inside the machine. I swooned a little. I wish I were allowed makeup though, which brings me to...

Random thought nr 5: What the fuck, electrodes? Why must you fuck with my face? I get rashes and then break out, and I'm not allowed makeup in the MRI-machine in case it's metallic. Why do I have to meet hot doctor men when I look like shit? Why? *sad face*

Random thought nr 6: Also, Karolinska (the hospital), why do you insist on only having patient gowns in size XXXL (I wish I were kidding here - I saw the label, they're for 130-150 kg)? It looks like I'm wearing a tent - a tent that falls down and makes me risk flashing everyone unless I balance it perfectly on my shoulders, which of course I don't, because I'm self-conscious and fidgeting. Maybe some more sizes? Or if you're going to have just one size, maybe a size that isn't gargantuan? Speaking of big and food and stuff...

Random thought nr 7: Yes, it's nice that you've made sandwiches. A really sweet gesture. But why would I eat a sandwich while you sit there and watch? How uncomfortable is that?!

Not the actual sandwich of course, but I bet theirs had ham too, just to add to the awkwardness if I would decide to eat it.

So don't look at me like that when I turn you down, it breaks my heart. I eat at odd times, and I don't particularly like eating with people I don't know. Not even with, in front of people I don't even know. However, my consistent non-sandwich-eating probably looked really bad today when I asked that they didn't tell me my weight after they weighed me. The young female nurse accepted my explanation without batting an eye (I told them it makes me stress out. It does. I haven't weighed myself regularly in years because I don't trust myself with the numbers), but then the cute doctor came out and happily asked "So, what was the weight?" and I wanted to sink through the ground as the nurse discretely edged over and jotted it down in the corner of his clipboard. He looked at me like I was a total weirdo. Also along with the not-bleeding-thing, they probably think I have an eating disorder or something. What not-bleeding-thing you say? Well...

Random thought nr 8: Fuck you, body. Why won't you bleed when told? Getting perforated with needles to produce a blood sample fucking hurts. Last time the little old lady nurse managed to squeeze half a sample from me. Today, the young nurse got nothing. She even stuck the needle in my hand. Even dr Handsome told her to give up and let me go home with my blood intact. If I even have any. The nurse doubted it.

Oh well, all in a day's work. Or two days to be fair. And it's well-paid too. I should sign up to be a human guinea pig more often.