On conflicts and collapses

"Why are you reading all the time?" mom asked me today (approximately 20 seconds after she'd finished filling out a form, during which time she'd forbidden me from talking). "You're always reading, either on your phone or on something else." I don't think I've ever heard anyone else's parents ever complain about reading. I just... I just don't get her sometimes.

I helped her weed out her closet yesterday, during which time she found a dress I'd worn when I was 14 or so. I didn't want it anymore, so we decided to give it to my sister-in-law. Mom prattled away, going "Well I can't wear it, and clearly neither can she, so we thought you would look very nice in it." Now granted, my sister-in-law isn't very big, and she's shorter than I am, but either we're the same size in clothes or I'm a little skinnier than she is, so I felt insulted. The dress looked great on her, but I tried it on as well and it fit me like a glove. Ever since I was a kid, mom has always put me in stuff that was too big, saying stuff like "Well, it's not like you'll shrink", and telling me all about how thin she was when she met my dad ("How much did you weigh at your lowest? Oh, well I weighed several kilos less than that.") and constantly trying to pass off clothes she doesn't want anymore to me, even though I know they won't fit. "Oh come on, you're not that much thinner than me." I don't know if she does it to make herself feel better, or whatever's up with that, but it sucks.

It may sound like my mom and I fight about a lot of things, and I bitch about what she does a lot, but really it's not terrible. I've got stuff about her that I don't like, and she has stuff about me that she doesn't like, and that's fine. We still love each other and have fun most of the time, even though certain moments just makes us want to claw the others' eyes out. I think a lot of people have similar relationships with their parents. Maybe it's just one of those things.

Pictured: Cassie, a terrible (but cute) runner.

My sister-in-law's parents came along for the evening, bringing along their absolutely adorable Bernese Mountain Dog, which made me over the moon. I love dogs, and would love to have one. I spent most of the afternoon petting and cuddling her, and my once black jeans have now turned kinda grey and hairy. Anyways, after dinner I was feeling way too full, so I took the dog out for a jog. She kept up pretty well for the first 15-20 minutes, before gradually going slower and slower. I figured I'd bring her home so she wouldn't overexert herself, but as soon as she was inside she drank lots of water, lay down on the kitchen floor and proceeded to hyperventilate for forever. "Hey, sorry, it would appear that I broke your dog." It's pretty embarrassing.

Jogging with a dog just made me feel like I want one even more now. The way the dog looks up at you with a look on its face that goes "Oh my god, this is the most awesome thing ever, I love you!" is endearing to no end. I've wanted a dog for years, but a lack of time and money has made it a pretty unrealistic thought so far. It's something I really want though, for when I'm more settled in what I'm doing and where I want to be. I'd love to have a Swedish Vallhund, because apart from being bad-ass, they're just so damn adorable with their little stumpy legs. Dogs are awesome.