On running away

New years open up the possibility for new things. Some decide to take their careers somewhere by starting school. Some people start a family. Some people stay put in the jobs they hate, going "Yeah, I know I said I was going to quit, but man, all the insecurities!". Some people get a cat. Some get fifteen cats.

Not me, thank fuck.

I start planning to elope.



Not that I have all that much to run away from, really. I don't have an abusive spouse or partner (or any kind of partner at all really. At leat not on an emotional level), no broken home (in fact, a really loving family and an awesome home with awesome friends), and a spot at a prestigious school doing stuff a lot of people wish they could do. My life is pretty cool.

The problem is that my capacity for life is so much larger than Stockholm can contain. I have growing pains and this city just isn't enough to give me the space I need. Every day I see the same city, the same streets, and (mostly) the same (type) of people. I'm almost 24 - if I don't leave soon, maybe one day it will be too late. Thus I'm saving every penny I can lay my hands on, studying hard both at home and in school, and am hatching elaborate plans on how different everything will be in twelve months when everything's started over for me. My new life on the other side of the globe.

How far on the other side of the globe?

About as far from Stockholm as you can get before you start coming back again. Tokyo, baby. Or at least the general Tokyo area. After a completely amazing trip there last summer I came home with goals and this amazing feeling of clarity. I'm moving there. Preferably immediately. But first I need to complete my bachelor's degree in Architecture, save up a whole bunch of money and make some sort of game plan. And now the new year is year, the race is on and my goal is closer with every day.

I believe in running away (at least if you really feel like you want to). Most people go about life with way too many have-tos. Who says you have to do whatever it is that you believe that you have to? And why? Why not instead figure out what you want to do, and just go out and do it while kicking ass and taking names? It's not any harder than trying to convince yourself that you're happy where you are if you're really not, believe me. How many more chances will you get if you let your dreams just go?

I met up with my mom and sister the other day, and started talking about my plans for after graduation. While I've been clear on the fact that I'm going to try to go as soon as I can, when I was talking about it, my mom suddenly seemed totally freaked out by it. Maybe the fact that it's reachable resonated with her (finally) too.  

"But... but, I thought you were trying to get yourself an internship!" Yes mom, but it doesn't have to be for a year. It can be much shorter, like 6 months or maybe even just 3. And moving to Japan doesn't equal that I'm not going to do anything more about my career as an architect - I'm going to look for positions as soon as my Japanese is up to par.  

"What about that inheritance money you got from when Grandma died? Can't you just use that?" I did, when I went to Japan. And yeah, it was expensive, seeing as we stayed there for almost 4 weeks and traveled - a lot. "But didn't you get that scholarship to travel?" Yes, but it was only a fraction of the total costs. No way they'd fund the entire trip, modern scholarships don't work that way. My sister K, who doesn't always share my opinions and can grate on my nerves but I love dearly all the same, swooped in to the rescue at that point. "It's what Grandma would've wanted you to do with the money. She wanted us all to go travel and do cool stuff, she's totally cheering you on for doing it!" All very true, seeing as my Grandma was an awesome woman with an amazing life full of adventure, but more on that some other time.

"But why move so definitely, why don't you see more of the world like your cousin Jo?" This one really grates on me, like living in an Asian country where, as an English teacher I'd make more than I would living in Sweden, would in any way stop me from seeing more of Asia and the rest of the world. And for now, I'm not saying that I'm going to live in Japan forever. Game plan includes 1-2 years for now, possibly more later. I can understand that it's nerve wracking seeing your baby bird leave the nest and fly (all the way to another continent), but coming from parents who spent large chunks of my childhood moving and traveling with me and my siblings all across the world, I've gotta say that I'm a little perplexed.

After all, now's the time to go. Graduating school, very single and having lived in the same place for almost 3 years now, I feel that now's my time. I'd miss my family and my wonderful friends of course, but there's always Skype and all that stuff. Besides, I've already made plans to meet up with my roomies Pony and G in South Korea for a holiday there, followed by them coming with me back to Tokyo and spending some time there. Strong bonds stay strong, no matter the distance.