On making peace with my face

I hate having my picture taken. Hate hate hate. I don't know my angles, I make weird herp-a-derp faces and most of the time I just look horribly awkward. It's weird, I like my face irl, but as soon as there's a camera nearby I dodge like I'm Neo in the fucking Matrix. I hate it, I really want to look cool on pictures too, but I just feel really uncomfortable in front of a camera and always come out looking extremely self-conscious.

Sometimes facial features get switched for vegetables too.

Well guess what, that's about to change. Now I'm one of those people who don't like the idea of New Years resolutions, seeing as I feel that if you need a special date to get shit decided, chances are you're not committed enough, but I decided in the first few days of 2013 (incidentally about the same time I decided I'd try to keep this blogging thing alive) that I no longer wanted to be Ms. Derp on film. I'm going to attempt to become more comfortable in front of a camera to hopefully relax enough to stop looking goofy and uncomfortable.

I mean, think about it. No-one was born looking awesome in every single picture. It takes practice and comfort to not look like a dork. Thus, today I started a new hobby - taking my picture. My thought is that if I keep doing it consistently, eventually I'll figure out what works and what looks fucked up. When I'm feeling a bit better about how things turn out, I'll graduate to having someone else take the pictures, and hopefully it'll be the end of my ridiculous-looking days. So without further ado...

"Imma cut you bitch."

This is the first picture I took, and goddammit, I'm posting it the way it is. It's the first day of my period, I'm feeling puffy, big and uncomfortable, I worked my ass off in school, I'm sleepy and sloth-ish, and I have this bad habit of resting my cheek on my fist so it looks like I've been in a fight and gotten punched. And yeah, I know my mirror needs to be wiped. Point is, with all those negatives going on, I still think I look pretty damn bad-ass, and if I can manage to make myself feel not-silly on a picture on a day where everything's gone to shit, then I think this project will manage just fine with turning my picture-phobia around. I don't need photoshop to feel cool. As a matter of fact, fuck you photoshop.

"Grr, mirror. I'm angry at you."

 I’m not going to spam the shit out of you with pictures of me, that would be rude. Actually, never mind, it’s my blog so I’m going to do whatever the hell I want. If fabulous bloggers can do it (*cough* Bryanboy *cough*), so can I (yeah, I’m obsessed, so sue me).

Can you blame me though? Look how cool he is!

If I can go around town feeling amazingly awesome and super hot irl, why not shine some of that lovely presence on the internet?

Fuck this shaky sense of self-confidence. Fuck being humble. Fuck holding back and fuck feeling stupid.

I had this wild idea a while ago about giving a fuck. What if every time you give a fuck, you're actually giving away <em>an actual fuck</em>? Like every time you care about something unnecessary like what others will think, how you'll be perceived and whatever, you're giving away a fuck with a potentially hot person. Every time you worry in vain you get to fuck less, because you're giving all your fucks away. Scary idea huh? So no giving a fuck about bullshit stuff anymore. Okay? Okay.