On 300 ass-hats and competition in general

The site I'm applying for jobs in Japan emails me to tell me how many people to date have applied for the same jobs I have, which makes me anxious beyond belief. "To date, 308 resume(s) have been submitted through the network for this position." Fuck you site, I didn't need to know that I was competing with 300 people. Especially when I have neither teaching experience nor an all that compelling resume. Shit. I can hope that 300 people are total ass-hats, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to apply for a whole lotta jobs before something pops up.

 
That all sounds a whole lot more dramatic than I find it. I'm not particularly sad or worried, I just know that there's some perseverance needed. I knew that from the start. I'll just keep chugging along, sending in resumes and eventually things will fall into place. Now that I think about it, I'm a little surprised that I'm not feeling detejected or anything. Maybe I'm just learning to be patient, I don't know.

On cover letter conundrums

Applying for jobs in a country on the other side of the globe is nothing short of terrifying. Fun, yes, obviously, but still possibly the scariest thing I've ever gone for. By one unsuspecting click I could change my future. Man, I need a professional-looking photo for my resume. I need a haircut. I need to breathe deep and try to tell myself that I'm adult enough to do this.

On unpredictable situations and predictable me

I think I might really like teaching. Not gonna lie, that may be because I'm rather partial to the student, but I don't think that's the only reason. I spent Sunday afternoon at a small café with Moonlight, going through a chapter in his Swedish coursework, and I genuinely found it really fun. Maybe that's because Moonlight is highly intelligent, and not just adorable. That's always a good thing. Anyways, even if I was teaching Swedish, I was teaching Swedish in English and enjoying myself while doing so, and I see that as a good sign for the future. It's almost like you can see the cogs turn in a person's head, and then suddenly everything just falls into place with just some gentle prodding on your part. It feels pretty damn glorious. If I could, I'd love to do one-on-one study sessions when I'm working in Japan too as it's so much easier to tailor things to the person's needs. Also, it's just... I don't know, nice. It's a way of hanging out that I really approve of.

I feel tremendously terrible for having missed that Sakanaction released not only one, but two new songs while I was wallowing in self-pity these past six weeks. What kind of a fan am I? Their song Eureka has turned out to be my love of the year so far, could well be my new theme song. It's like hearing spring, which is nice when you're in a snowy landscape with biting winds. The short clips from Tokyo portray it beautifully, and I feel really nostalgic watching it. I kinda can't stop. Listening to it fills me with that good old wanderlust again. Watching the video closes the distance between the city and my heart. I live recklessly, recklessly.

On my yakuza boss

I had a completely different post lined up for you guys, but fuck it, something so amazing came up today that there's no way I couldn't rush home from work to tell you guys about it. Well, I say amazing, but it's more of a 'holy fucking shit' moment. Remember this post where I told you guys about seeing Karate Husband's tattoo and the thoughts that came with that? Well, curiosity got the better of me when one of the Swedish waitresses came in, fuming over issues with her paycheck. She was ready to raise hell and on the verge of threatening to quit her job, and sensing an opportunity with my hyena-like ability of sniffing out weakspots, I asked her about Karate Husband's tattoo and got more dirt than I'd bargained for.

Oh Swedish waitress girl, let me in on all that juicy gossip!

On books and smells and other things I love

An old friend of mine gave me a chocolate scented Bodyshop spa kit for my birthday, and I just can't stop smelling myself, it's ridiculous. What's even more ridiculous is me going around going "Here, smell me!" (obviously not with random people, but you know). I tried it on Puppy on Friday, completely forgetting (like I always do) that he doesn't like chocolate. I don't know what kind of madness not liking chocolate is, but as Puppy said: "Well, would you rather that I walked around smelling you all the time?" and then proceeded to sniff me very demonstratively at the café we were at.

On looking back and looking forwards

A few days ago I came across a blog called Sad YouTube, where someone's been going through the comment sections of YouTube videos to find real expressions of nostalgia, sadness and longing for others. It's kinda depressing reading, but as those of you who know me IRL know: I love depressing shit. Anyways, a lot of the comments tend to revolve around people that the people leaving the comments have only met briefly, yet they changed their lives, or at least are reminded of these encounters when listening to a specific song, and it makes me wonder if there's anyone out there in the world who thinks of me that way. Like say there's a song on the radio that they know, and they go "Oh hey, remember that girl?" or just sit in silence letting the waves of memories wash over them. Even if it's something completely insignificant, I'd like to be remembered like that by someone. It would be like staying immortal, if only for a while. You live on in a quiet corner of someone else's consciousness, only surfacing every once in a while, bringing with you an air of... Happiness? Nostalgia? Regret? Does it even matter?

On mid-day naps and feeling at peace

I'm still completely in love with this week off. Doing absolutely fuck all in a very slow pace could be my dream for the future. I've spent more time reading lately than I've had time for in a really long time, and I've missed it so much. Curled up in a warm sweater with a really interesting book about a failed polar expedition and a big cup of tea, and I don't know why people ask me why I'm not going anywhere on my week off. I'm where I want to be. I've got what I need.