On Christmas woes and knitting nirvana

Christmas presents are hard. The whole consumer hysterics is pretty tiring, and I for one have way too much stuff. I try to get rid of stuff and keep my possessions to a minimum (except for books, because books are the best thing on the planet), so I don't want to give people a bunch of shit they don't need. Thus, gift-giving seasons are hard. I want to give practical things without being boring, things that people won't go "Heyyy... thanks." and then hide away at the back of some cupboard and never speak of again.

On giving emotions some breathing space

Man, taking responsibility for your emotions is pretty hard, but ultimately very rewarding. Lately I've been sorting through my messy personal life, instead of just hiding when things become shitty or awkward, and it's really proved to beneficial. I've even had the guts to do some stuff I probably wouldn't have had the guts to do before. Today, for instance, I found out that Norimaki-san was being moved to the other restaurant starting next week, so I wouldn't get to see her anymore. This came after a really funny and engaging conversation in the locker room, and I just felt devastated to lose her even though I'd only just gotten to know her, so (with a slightly quivering voice) I asked her before she left if she'd like to go out and have a beer with me sometime, since we wouldn't be able to see each other for a while, as I'm off work tomorrow. She responded with great enthusiasm and thanked me for asking her, scurrying off to procure a pen and wrote her phone number on a piece of paper for me, telling me to text her and she'd let me know when she'd gotten her schedule. I felt so proud of myself for taking that (probably not scary for most people, but kinda scary for me!) step to making a new Japanese friend, as well as a coworker friend. An older female coworker friend, who I'm not directly related to. I've never had one of those. I'm pretty psyched about it.

On bonds and brothers

I miss Sand. Yesterday we were both sick of everything going on in our different messy lives, and started daydreaming about being in the same place, calling in sick, buying a shit-load of candy and chips and staying in, watching series and movies all night. It sounded absolutely glorious, but obviously there was no way that could happen, not to mention that the only flight from Porto to Stockholm that day was 19 500 SEK. Eek! We'll have to wait until Sand comes back for Christmas, but at least then we'll be able to be truly lazy together.

On issues of the heart

"I'm constantly in awe of your utter lack of any self preservation instinct," Pony laughed at me as I was half-heartedly tried to defend my recent string of probably less than stellar decisions I've made about various things om the past few weeks. She's right though, I am bad at making decisions that will be good for me, especially when looking at the long-term effects. I always argue that as long as I'm happy and having fun, it can't be that bad, but I don't know. Maybe I'd be happier if I were less reckless with my heart, not to mention the heart of others.

On therapy and computer issues

Friday could possibly have been the best night out in... I don't know, ever I guess? Pony and I had so much fun, both sporting a hangover yesterday to prove it. Seriously, I was dizzy, light sensitive and exhausted, and yet really happy. I guess it's really true how when you do good things, life rewards you with some sweet deals, like new friends and having VIXX on your brain all day.

I think some people would find it weird to hear me go around singing "I need therapy, lalalalala therapy", but hell, at least it's catchy.

On relaxation and dancing like a crazy person

It's Friday, and time for Kpop Nonstop! Pony and I have a whole evening of kpop goodness planned. It suits me fine after an excellent day at Yasuragi spa yesterday, which was eight hours of onsen style baths, tea and fruit, yoga, some more onsen baths and swimming a few hundred meters in their swimming pool. Reading a book in warm water outside with the cold November wind in your hair while enjoying a day of almost complete silence was amazing. I even got to eat okonomiyaki for lunch, which I haven't done since I was in Kyoto, and it tasted almost the same and I felt really nostalgic. When I came back to town, I was relaxed in both body and mind, and it's kept on going like that for most of the day as well. I feel a little tired and my shoulders ache a bit from the yoga, but all in all I feel so much better for having gone. I'm filled with what the Puppy called a 'yogi calm. "You look so good! I like seeing this version of you. You're so giggly. It's adorable."

I wish all Thursdays were spa Thursdays.

On hungry games and gender bending

Going on what could only be construed as a date with your now-exboyfriend kinda feels a little odd. Hemingway's leaving for Hong Kong soon, and while we broke up I still like him as a person and quite like hanging out with him, so I want to be able to do it and at least feel kinda normal. Nine months of history don't just go out the window in a heartbeat. Anywho, we went to see the second installment of the Hunger Games triology (which the movie usher hilariously called the Hungry Games, which made me giggle), and it was pretty good. Not as good as the first movie, but then again the second book wasn't as good as the first one either, so I guess it was to be expected. Also I've gotta say that I wanted pretty much every single item of clothing Effie Trinket wears in that movie. Couture all the way, honey.

I like movies that at least try to deal with mental problems. The way both Katniss and Peeta are haunted by nightmares and panic attacks as a result of post traumatic stress disorder from the games was extremely sad and quite uplifting at the same time. None of this Hollywood strong-characters-don't-flip-out bullshit. Lifting up anxiety disorders like that, by showing that the heroes are affected in very real and serious ways by what they do, is something I really like seeing because it adds depth and believability to the movie as a whole.