On watching Project Runway obsessively, S11E8

Jesus. Christ. Monkey. Balls. This week's episode was a complete and utter train wreck.

Pictured: A more desirable outcome.

This week the challenge was about creating menswear, and as always on menswear Project Runway challenges, everyone's stumped and everything looks like shit. You'd think that they'd know by now that every single season has had a menswear challenge of one kind or another, and if you're not feeling particularly savvy in that area - study it and try to make a few things beforehand so that you're not completely bewildered when it's time to get down to business on national TV.

That being said, this week's episode was insane. They were to make tear-away clothes for male Australian strippers who were built like Conan the Barbarian in a minimal amount of time. Clearly the challenge was impossible, and it was unfair of the judges to crack down so hard on the designers as they did given what they had to work with. Nina even broke down in a giggling fit - probably a Project Runway first. I'm happy they didn't announce any winner this week, because seriously, everything was embarrassing.

"G day, I have absolutely no shape whatsoever."

The minute Mustachio said he was making a trench coat my first instinct was flasher. I'm just getting crazy serial killer/hair salon runaway from this look. The proportions it gives muscle man here are insane. His head looks tiny. And Patricia, stop with the fabric manipulations already. It takes time, you end up not doing your team any favours and your garment was hardly even visible. Go home already. Although you did have the decency to feel ashamed about it, I'll give you that.

Not a terrible attempt, but no-where near good either.

Michelle decided not to give a crap about cohesion and did her own thing, like always. It ended up being one of the less criticized looks though which I guess was in her favour, but it was still weird-looking all the same. Nowhere near the 'office'-thing everyone was going for. Also she needs to stop whining. Gawd.

At least Stanley tried.

Stanley generally comes off looking professional, which I like. He's not loud or anything, just quietly confident and most of the time it's not misplaced. He did pretty good all things considered, and while the suit looks boring and poorly made, it's not as boring and poorly made as everything else. His shirt just didn't come off though, which was awkward. The poor stripper was fiddling with it the entire time, leaving the runway still poking around with it, looking like someone's bewildered boyfriend trying to get undressed discretely in the dark while drunk after a night out.

Oh dear lord.

Layana Layana Layana. Stop calling everyone else tacky and look at what the hell you're doing. A weird shawl-collar? The proportions are so off my head feels like it'll explode at any given point. And Amanda's pants are cray-cray. Richard's collar. I'm lost for words.

Best of the worst.

At least Samantha's outfit looked good (enough). The shirt was off (Richard's fault), but apart from that it looks perfectly bland and boring enough to have her safe had this been a real challenge. In comparison to everything else out there, this was by far the best, which is just sad in so many ways.
 

That tie. THAT TIE.

Christ. Seriously, this is ridiculous.

"I don't get to show my aesthetic" Richard complained. Uhm, maybe if you realized that quite a few of your looks are kinda... well, bedazzled, and that it's not appropriate for the challenge, especially when everyone on your team seems to feel that way, you'd have more of a shot at getting your point of view across. Take a hint. Also, stop being an asshole when someone (rightly) criticizes you for not doing shirts properly. Amanda was completely right to single you out as a weak link seeing as you're a complete diva who won't work with anyone, and you treat your fellow contestants like crap. You should've gone home instead of her. Man, this season. Teams are really starting to crack at the seams now, and I'm guessing this isn't the last of the fighting by a long haul.

Also, why did everyone feel the need to make suits? Yes, cashing in on the 50 Shades of Grey-craze is probably a smart move business-wise for these guys, but less smart in that it's extremely obvious and everyone and their dog is doing it. If you want to do a suit thing, why not go the Mad Men route with a cool 60's slim version? Or just any variation of a suit that doesn't look like something from a cheap menswear store? Because all of this was just awkward to see. All through the episode I was just sitting there thinking about how they'd eliminated both Tu and Kate last week for something not nearly as bad as the best seen today, and what an unfair place the world is. Not that it would've gotten any better if they'd stayed most likely, but I like to think that Tu might've had a slightly different input to what everyone else was going with.

You'd think I'd be all in favour of an episode with men taking their clothes off left and right, but I'm not big on the muscular guy aesthetic actually. While it's interesting anatomically, it's nothing I feel any kind of sexual interest for. I don't get the whole fantasy. Give me a thin guy in a well-tailored suit and I'm much more happy. Like immediately after watching the episode Pony and I found this picture of what menswear is supposed to look like.

Designers, THIS is menswear.

Dammit Dior, you've done it again. I'm no Who-vian, but God bless Matt Smith and his dorky-hot ways.